sand ghost

[adding a small chunk of ginger to my smoothie] surely this is what will finally fix me

@acomplexcollin this is the most powerful thing I’ve ever seen

@alliebwoods Yes wow I think it’s past time for a female president Allie

she’s a bit new to politics for now but I could totally see the infernal oceanic fire abyss becoming president

invented a time machine to go back and tell the author of revelations what the future is really like and he vomited on his toga

right now someone is wracking their brain for ways to leverage the infernal ocean fire abyss for better brand engagement to sell fruit snacks or something

well well well, if it isn't the consequences (dying of the plague) of my own actions (putting a rat i found in an alley under my hat to help me cook hotdogs better)

just remembered at one point during lockdown I got a jury summons in the mail and I laughed and threw it in the trash

@YuckyTom lol i don’t even know what I was talking about

@YuckyTom what’d you do?

@YuckyTom m*crodos*ing mushr*oms and spinning v*nyl and eating fine l*mb meats is absolut*ly my jam sys 😘

@YuckyTom this was like 70% of the pandemic for me tbh welcome brother

@YuckyTom dang can’t afford not to, deal

love modern america where I pay a guy $100 an hour to let me cry in front of him because crying in front of other men is too embarrassing

@YuckyTom hate to perpetuate the flex but it was v good. feeling better remains elusive

You are in her dm’s. I am home alone sitting in silence drinking a martini from a crystal goblet and eating a rack of lamb I made to make myself feel better. We are not the same.