dougster

@heatley49044 Do it

The call in sick and work from home play is seeming really appealing rn.

I swear the fuck if the A’s blow this and my parlay

@nickbateman33 I was on a double date at the niner game. Didn’t ever get laid (spent so much money) and didn’t get to realize Michigan was the best team in college. Double entendre

The moment every CBB fan realized Michigan was winning the national championship The rest of the world was too busy watching 49ers Panthers 20-9 on MNF

@e1_T1gre @4LeanHounds

I remember my first time dippin too Craig 😂 what a nerd

Shrink this loser and his gay fit

Just saw the fattest person ever on a run. I hate fat people they disgust me but respect to that man. Get after it tubby

@Wazzahoesat Hahaha I love

Don't worry fellas, racism is still alive and well in the greatest country this world has ever seen😌

@Wazzahoesat Wazza is back with vengeance!!

Group happy hours where you split the check evenly is a communist scam. Just paid $57 for three Guinness because girls think its just "so much easier" to not have to count how many $30 grey goose martinis they slurp down.

@ArashMarkazi Why the fuck didn’t I see this shit when I went??? All they had were shitty hotdogs

The new Loco Moco Bowl at Dodger Stadium. 🤙🌺

@4LeanHounds @FriarBreaks @TooMuchMortons_ @DevineGospel 😂

@FriarBreaks @TooMuchMortons_ @DevineGospel He was probably giving him shit for his girl being a hoe too

Don’t need to be a professional lip reader to see what Chapman is telling Schmitt 🤣🤣🤣

@johnsummit Keep this one bro

new single with feid drops tomorrow noon est merging the worlds of house music + latin has been a goal ever since la danza days last single before full album drops april 15.. tax day can’t come soon enough

@4LeanHounds @sondraa 😂

@mrdougquad @sondraa Dodger dog tasted like what now 👀

Oh look I’m the Dodgers. I have an all star at every position. I just won B2B World Series. I have amazing concessions. Fuck you

@UnderdogMLB How the fuck r u so unathletic??? Spraining ur acl as a pitcher is insane work.

Schneider: Cody Ponce will miss significant time with sprained ACL.

@ColeRagansSZN Shut up fn

What age does the burner end? Having an internal crisis. Can’t be 22 years old with a full time job tweeting on a burner lmao

@SirBylHolte Taylor Sheridan fucking sucks at making shows!!! Stick to movies

OPINION: Taylor Sheridan is the worst thing to happen to maleness, masculinity and westerns since "Brokeback Mountain." Sheridan’s praised rebooting of the western genre is in reality PEAK SUBVERSION. "Yellowstone": Beth Dutton is a foul-mouthed violent girlboss who dominates every man around her, emasculates her own brother, screams at her father, and is celebrated as the strongest character while the men look weak or evil. "1883": Elsa Dutton is the free-spirited independent narrator who outshines the men on the trail, Margaret Dutton is portrayed as the tough sacrificing matriarch who holds the family together, while the men mostly suffer and die. "1923": Cara Dutton played by Helen Mirren is the ultimate strong matriarch who runs the ranch, threatens to kill men, and beats people with a bible. "Lawmen: Bass Reeves": Made the entire show about a black marshal, pushed black excellence and historical revisionism, and portrayed strong morally superior black female characters like his wife Jennie, in a classic white cowboy setting. "Landman": Stuffs in shrill girl-boss lawyers, vain bikini ex-wives, vapid woke daughters, and oversexualized “strong” women who constantly take down the men. "Marshals": More modern "diverse" marshals with strong female leads and progressive messaging. "The Madison": Michelle Pfeiffer plays the powerful New York matriarch who takes center stage after her husband's death. And in the upcoming "Dutton Ranch," Beth will return as the ultra-toxic feminist who destroys everyone in her path while being praised as iconic. The Western is unequivocally NOT a female brand. Prove me wrong.

@PHNX_Dbacks Toreys fucking fault. Should pulled him after it went 8-2. Fucking pathetic

Really didn’t think we would need to use this tonight but

@guapster69 @heatley49044 Uh ohhh 👀👀👀

@heatley49044 Ya heard that one before. U know who has never broken bros before hoes. Lobster. See u this weekend bringing an 8ball @mrdougquad

Parents cancelled their trip to come visit me to go to Cabo with their friends. Fuck that’s kinda unreal good for them

@CfpKennedy @warriors Nice use of wording. Classless

Classless fucking franchise @warriors

@humpjenkins 😂

Venice Beach is the most disgusting place I’ve ever been in my life, fisherman’s wharf looks like the Hamptons compared to this shithole Have never wanted to kill myself more. Disgusting place