Matthew Stanford

Go ahead get ya muthafuckin paper up

@TwitterSupport Oh just make an edit button and be done with it.

Nina Simone & Otis Redding, 1967.

At the convention center, didn’t know you weirdos were having a damn cosplay convention today. And this would be the day I have to videoconference with my PO Girls is kinda hot tho Don’t worry I’m leaving now, you paranoid COWARDS

Candyman , Candyman Spit me a dream

That blow your brain Kurt Cobain and Nirvana shit

You can find the Christ where he he leopards and the lames at

You’re a fucking coward.

@ClevelandClinic Seems ass backwards, but I’ll consider it

Could the secret to injury-free running really be as simple as kicking off your shoes and going barefoot? cle.clinic/3qnWcfn

In this world of social media, there is always someone around with a phone that’s equipped with a camera, yet suspiciously there’s never been a photo or video of me “stalking” Donna yet she still gets granted a protection order against me. And you believed her smfh

Santa is REAL. You on the other hand are a fucking imposter and you have been this way for very long.

@mental_floss They probably can, but they won’t.

10. They can quite literally save your life. trib.al/f8rQ8Xe

@verge I think it’s a little too early for the “prettiest” title, don’t you?

The LG Gram Style might be the prettiest laptop of 2023 theverge.com/2023/1/6/23543…

@Gizmodo $8.50??

Apple Fined $8.5 for Illegally Collecting iPhone Owners' Data for Ads dlvr.it/SgNpwx

I could tell you that she’s lying about being dead and you’d never believe me.

Lmao she could tell y’all that I actually killed her and you’d believe her. No questions asked, she must be telling the truth that she’s dead, right?

Jeremiah is gonna hate you ALL

You let her ruin my life and didn’t make a single tweet about it? You fucking COWARD. Fuck you

You fat bitch.

I was not hacked. You really are a coward.