King mufasa👑😌👑

This is like your chemistry teacher teaching how to make meth

That moth will go the rest of its life searching for the high of that one super bright lamp, but nothing will compare

“Abeg you fit borrow me 2k” You wey no gree make i ring break time bell for primary 3

What was the experiment testing? “Yup fuckin sucked, just as I hypothesized”

Okay but have you considered that my hair isn't pasta

As a spaniard I would like to deny the allegations that we eat the portuguese on Christmas

Wish I had these when I worked at the flaming sword factory.

Americans experiencing nature: Wow.. its like a ranch dressing bottle

This is a medium security prison cell in Sweden or Norway.

I was accused of having no sense of direction, so I packed my bags and right.

JESUS: so do you still celebrate the day I was crucified? ME: oh yeah, it's a major holiday JESUS: and what is it called? Sad Friday? ME: ... JESUS: tragic Friday? ME: ... JESUS: WHAT IS IT CALLED

My rates are very reasonable

when you have a gambling addiction and the therapist says i bet you can’t quit

I’d imagine it going down like this 😂: Bill Gates: I’d like a Big Mac meal. Here’s my gold card. Crew Member: What in the world is that, sir? Bill: A gold card. I get free McDonald’s food wherever I go. Crew Member: 😲 Free food everywhere? That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard! Let me grab my GM before I mess this up. GM: Sir… is this a real gold card for free food? Bill: Yes, it is. GM: Holy fries, I’ve worked here 8 years and nobody’s ever pulled that out! Let me call my supervisor. Supervisor: A gold card? For unlimited free Big Macs? You’re not pranking us, right? Bill: No prank, it’s real. Supervisor: This is wilder than the McRib coming back! Hang on, I’m getting the franchisee. Franchisee: Bill, you telling me this shiny card means you eat here for free forever? Bill: That’s the idea. Franchisee: Well I’ll be dipped in special sauce… Let me call corporate real quick before my brain “fries”. After several more amazed looks and hurried phone calls, Bill smiled politely and said: “You know what? I’ll just pay with cash today.”

What kind of question even is that

*Names of footballers starting with K* My girlfriend: “Kaka” Me: “Kantona” Her 6’2” gay best friend: “But Cantona starts with a ‘C’?” I caught that bastard

My wife was watching me play COD the other day and after a while she couldn’t keep it in anymore. She said “why do you like kìllinğ people from behind? Don’t you have honor? Face them like a man nau” Lmao when e reach your turn, write letter to the enemy that you’re coming to shoot them 😂

why did they only post one angle?