cyb :-P

do you wipe or do you let it crust

im doing so remarkably terrible and theres just nothing i can do about it

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

i miss purging and i miss cutting and i miss nursing myself back to health and comforting myself after something bad happens

i miss purging and listening to my heart in my ears beating super loudly and quickly and not being able to breathe properly and involuntarily tearing up and feeling bad for myself because im struggling and i have a reason to feel bad because im doing awfully

does this make sense

for someone with engages in disordered eating behavior i feel like i live a very normal life idk some days it’s bad but other days i’m like i lead too normal of a life to be someone who has an eating disorder even though my behavior and the way my brain acts is quite consistent

should i bring this back in 2026

high school was a movie

thinking about when i used to buy tubs and tubs of cream cheese frosting and spend all night eating straight from the tub with a spoon and purging

i feel so awful for people who need to be around me i hate myself so much i just want to get down on my knees and cry and apologize ti everyone i know for the way i look and the way i act

i am a terrible person and im so ugly and no amount of medication or help will fix me i just need to kill myself asap

i keep buying clothes in large and extra large and it keeps being way too big even though im an obese whale im genuinely huge why am i such a loser

the way i look makes me so sad

i look so old and disgusting and my face is gross and deformed oh my god i want to die

i am so so so so so fucking ugly i'm so upset i look like a 40 year old i hate the way i look so much

i need someone but i dont want to bother anyone

i dont know what to do

genuinely want to die

i cannot breathe and i feel like im having an anxiety attack and i dont want anyone to help me because im overdramatic and i deserve it for not trying to help myself

i can feel everyone trying to get away from me and i deserve it

im going to end up losing everyone i love because everyones getting tired of me because i have too many emotions and im too sensitive and im overwhelming to be around and i just hate myself too much to get help i dont deserve it

i hate having such intense emotions and then always needing to be like Well this wouldnt happen if i got on meds! because i know its true but then i end up feeling like my feelings arent real or how i feel isnt valid and then i feel horrible talking about my emotions ever