Michael Kelem

@ambulancemovie If you were going to mock Michael Bay’s career you couldn’t do better than this teaser.

@JoyceCarolOates Yes to all of those. I’m a huge fan of Wes but I just don’t know if it all added up to anything. Still, I anticipate his next film with the same cautious hope.

"Asteroid City" insouciantly demonstrates how much fey, twee, coy, sly, slow & wee can be crammed into a single film if the filmmaker is given an ample enough budget.

Affirmative action was never a complete answer in the drive towards a more just society. But for generations of students who had been systematically excluded from most of America’s key institutions—it gave us the chance to show we more than deserved a seat at the table. In the wake of the Supreme Court’s recent decision, it’s time to redouble our efforts.

@SiskoCarter Everyone likes a story that ends with dinner with mom.

"You'll get a ticket if you leave your truck, here. It's street cleaning day," I said to the plumber. "Oh, thank u," he said. I wouldn't have know that if u hadn't told me. " "Now you're ahead $70!" I said. "I can take my mother out to dinner," he said.

@gregman1982 @AdamForColorado Truth @gregman1982! Thanks. Still voting blue though.

@AdamForColorado This is just a straight-up lie. Once she hits five years of service, which would happen during a her third term, she'll be eligible for a pension, but she won't start collecting it until age 62 (she's 36 now) and it will only pay about 9% of her current salary.

Here’s an infuriating idea: If Lauren Boebert wins again in 2024, she becomes eligible for a lifetime congressional pension – paid for by you, the taxpayer. If that doesn’t make you want to give $10 right now to Adam Frisch’s campaign to defeat Boebert, we don’t know what will.

@maxseddon @ratemyskyperoom needs to look at this

Sergei Surovikin, hitherto the most Wagner-friendly general, calls on the group not to obey Prigozhin's orders. "The enemy is only waiting for our domestic political situation to get inflamed. Don't play into the enemy's hands in this difficult time for the country!"

Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov says Putin is aware of Wagner's Yevgeny Prigozhin basically declaring a coup against the army and claims "all the necessary measures are being taken." Whatever those are. t.me/rian_ru/206666

@SarahKSilverman @hulu Don’t knock my hobbies

I’m on episode 3 of #ASmallLight on @hulu and it’s fucking GREAT and IMPORTANT and if you don’t watch it you can go take a shit in the ocean

@JohnFugelsang Gotta admit, when you read it with an accent it’s amazing.

RIP Iron Sheik. I knew you were faking it.

@NoContextHumans They’re a bad role model, using ‘away’ twice in the same sentence like that. It’s lucky she got a B, could’ve been a lot worse.

@JTGenter @BizTraveler_USA Great article. Your hard work really shows in the details. And the data! I love the data! Kudos to your editor as well.

Thrilled to share my first-ever in-print article: a feature in @BizTraveler_USA! 😄 Over three pages, I dig into the state of air travel this summer -- from sold-out flights to aircraft and pilot shortages. Read my article for free online here: edition.pagesuite-professional.co.uk/html5/reader/p…

@djrothkopf Langer’s

@buitengebieden Can’t tell if that’s a ‘woo-hoo!’ or a ‘woah!’

Me every morning.. 😂

In 1990, the windshield of British Airways Flight 5390 came off at an altitude of 17,000 feet. This triggered a sudden decompression in the cockpit, resulting in the captain being partially ejected out of the aircraft. As luck would have it, Nigel Ogden, a flight attendant, was on his way into the cockpit at that moment. He managed to grab hold of the captain and maintain his grip for over 20 minutes while the copilot attempted an urgent landing. Although the majority of the crew presumed that the pilot had already lost his life, Ogden did not let go. There was a prevailing fear that if Ogden did release his hold, the pilot's body might strike the plane's engine, wing, or stabilizer, causing even more chaos. All Ogden knew was that the pilot was gradually slipping more and more out of the window and his head was continuously being battered against the airplane's body. Finally, after a distressing 20-minute flight with a gaping window, the aircraft was safely brought down at Southampton Airport. In the course of events, Ogden suffered from frostbite on his face, damage to one of his eyes, and a dislocated shoulder. In a miraculous turn of events, the pilot survived the ordeal, although he had frostbite and multiple fractures on his arms and hands. The image is a recreation from the television series "Mayday!"

@kristenschaaled From Disney?! They’ll come after your children’s children for pirating!

It’s getting pulled tomorrow. Anyone know how to burn a dvd off a streamer so I can show my daughter this show someday?

@JustinWolfers @djrothkopf I’m sorry, if who wants to kill it? The guy who will never be president again?

Two terrifying debt ceiling possibilities: 1. Even if McCarthy and Biden strike a deal, if Trump wants to kill it, he likely can. 2. If a deal does hit the floor, I wouldn't be surprised if there were a motion for McCarthy to vacate the chair. (It only takes one member.)

@JoyceCarolOates And in so doing, the Stone of Destiny was allowed to live out its remaining years-centuries really-in anonymity, as just another rock in the garden.

King-to-be-Charles could revolutionize the very concept of "monarchy" & go down in history if he graciously declined the pomp & circumstance of the coronation & turned back the (enormous) cost to the British people. a royal behaving so sensibly & selflessly would be much loved.

The ‘E’ stands for ‘Warthog’! Did not know that.

@PreetBharara And get some botox?

Bruce makes me want to laugh and cry and sing and dance and also hit the gym 🎵

I can only hope that @kenanthompson ‘borrows’ this bit for @nbcsnl

@WalshFreedom Also, Charlton Heston can go smoke a fat one.

I’m a Charlton Heston “from my cold, dead hands” gun rights advocate. If you want to move the needle on guns, focus on doing all we can BEFORE a gun is bought to help keep guns away from people who shouldn’t have them. Strengthen background checks. Don’t focus on banning guns.

@WalshFreedom No Joe, just AR-15s and more powerful weapons. “A well-regulated militia…”