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I am heartbroken.
Our beautiful Achilles passed away in the early hours of Friday morning, aged nine and a half.
His health had declined rapidly in recent months, and he had been struggling to keep food down for a few weeks.
We’ve had a long family getaway to Italy booked for many months – we’re staying in the very south of the country for six weeks. So Achilles and I set off on a 3-day road trip starting at 4am on Tuesday morning from Bath, and our journey took us across England to the Channel Tunnel, and then through France, Switzerland and down the spine of Italy. We stopped many times, enjoyed the spectacular views and countryside together, and as ever I talked to him constantly. [The selfie of us below is from Wednesday night, at our second hotel (near San Marino).]
However on Thursday, Achilles’ already fragile health deteriorated even further. We got to the villa, I unpacked the car and had some time to chill out with him in the garden, and then went to pick up my wife and kids from the airport, who’d flown out that afternoon to meet us. When we all got back to the villa, he was overjoyed to see them. But then within an hour, he began spiralling. We ensured our daughter said a big goodnight and goodbye to him.
And it seemed to me that once Achilles knew that the family were reunited and the children both asleep, he could finally face the pain. It was then an agonizing few hours, before we were able to find a 24-hour vet about half an hour away, and we were able to get him in the car. An x-ray revealed his stomach was knotted and in a mess. They offered to perform surgery, but I told them to put him to sleep there and then. I was with him throughout until the very end, looking into his eyes, always talking to him.
His actions on that final night summed up his noble character. He accompanied me on our mega road trip, he fought through the pain until the family were all reunited, and then only succumbed to it after the children had gone to bed.
Achilles was born in April 2016, the very week I quit my job in the City and became a self-employed trader, working from home full time. I collected him 10 weeks later, and he’s been at my side ever since. He was with me as a single man in my late 20s – the two of us lived alone together for a long while. He witnessed me meet the gorgeous woman who would become my wife, and he was there to welcome our two children into the world with us.
One of my great friends wrote to me over the weekend that Achilles was “a colossus, in every sense” – which I think was a beautiful description.
He was a hothead in his youth, but mellowed with the passing years. Fiercely independent, but equally loyal to the family. A formidable guardian with his physical presence and immense strength, but a gentle giant who let children climb all over him.
He became a legend on Wandsworth Common for five years, then Barnes Common for three, and finally in Bathwick Meadows, in his last 18 months (and of course, all the local pubs in those areas!). It would be unusual for us to go on a walk without anyone commenting on him or stopping us to ask questions about him – his size, beauty and gentle temperament. My mother wrote to me over the weekend, “I wonder how many thousands of photos were taken of Achilles by strangers from all over the world, throughout his life?”
We have too many hilarious anecdotes of Achilles to count, but I have already started writing them all down the past three days, to share with our children one day.
There’s a huge emptiness in our lives that I cannot imagine ever being filled. I’ve lost my best friend, and our children their older brother and protector.
But through the grief, I feel such gratitude that I had the honor of raising and spending the most important decade of my life with such a magnificent soul.
Thank you for everything, Achilles. You lit up the world and brought joy to all who had the pleasure of meeting you, even seeing you from afar. I count myself blessed to have had you as my companion for so long.
Rest peacefully, my beautiful boy.
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