Seandale

@NorthernIion_LP Who the fuck are these fatheads in the comments

@NorthernIion_LP 图书馆老师您好，我对您的要求非常感兴趣，我是从美国但目前在中国住的，我英文和中文两个都会读写！

desperately in need of a chinese moderator

Guy didn’t even read the project supervisor’s note we’re getting a simulated nuclear holocaust maaan

@ImtiazMadmood The comedian’s hide will tan like an ox’s, bleached under a hot summer sun. Desiccated like snakeskin, and yet it moves. Kippered like a young buckling, and yet it moves. Remembered, static, and yet it moves.

The Pope dies and goes to heaven. An angel shows him to his apartment and gives him the keys to his Vespa. He's having a wonderful time in heaven until one day, at a stoplight, he looks over and there is a Ferrari. "Wow" he says to the man driving it, "nice car." "Yeah!" the man in the Ferrari says, "isn't heaven great? First day I arrived they showed me to my villa and gave me the keys to the car of my dreams." "Huh", says the Pope, "what...uh what did you do on earth?" "I was a lawyer," the man says. "Like, a lawyer for orphans or the environment or something?" Suggests the Pope. "Nope. Just an ordinary lawyer. I did wills and divorces, and small business stuff." Just then the light changes and the lawyer speeds off in his Ferrari. This rankles the Pope, and after a few days he goes to St. Peter to complain. "I was a pious man. I served God my entire life. I was the Pope for crying out loud. How is it that I'm living in an apartment driving a moped and there's this Joe Schmoe lawyer and he gets a villa and a Ferrari?" "Look," explains St. Peter, "up here Popes are a dime a dozen, we've only got the one lawyer."

The bomb will cleave open the sun like an unripe melon. The eyes go first, peeling off in layers and bursting from inside. The scarred door will be rent open, its stitches cindered and bones blackened. Immolation is not one way, it is the only way.

Spotify listening age gap relationship

This was honestly amazing, just the level of innova- *a small worm wriggles out from under my pointer finger nail. It hisses at me, spitting a glob of black acid into my mouth before retracting and disappearing. My tongue melts off, only to be replaced by a bigger worm* hey what

On my last day on earth I’ll see another one of these videos reposted but the subject’s head will split into two heads and those heads will split into two more heads each and they will tell me how I die and I will Know

Cara Daggett is #nooticing

Public forum is a terrible event until you realize you’re actually building skills to appeal to the average American voter: the lay judge

Always some bullshit in your icloud drive I got jeffrey epstein’s black book in there for some reason

You’re telling me this ran through goon got crabs -Asia station

The movie was called weapons because they became lockheed martin engineers after all of that the future comes in threes it folds and it folds

@TexasRepublic71 @DollarGeneral The fuckign hmmm the liberals hmmm you’ve incited hmmm the fuckign war hmmm we’re hmmmmm the chcuked hmmmt rh chuck

There is know excuse for the Dollar General in Cleveland Texas to have a skeleton with a name badge that says Chuc on it. We see you Dollar General @DollarGeneral

Livvy gronk baby Dunn

can any ball experts tell my why that shit twitches during my nap like am I in danger

Every time I wake up from a nap at work I have to Consider

The therapy was the bricks we threw on the way

@Hank_Braak @ikxxaccount @Mollyploofkins This thread is so funny it’s like a peek into hallucinogenics

@ikxxaccount @Mollyploofkins I did. It's ALWAYS Leftists.

Armed neo-Nazis chanting 'white power' march through Indianapolis.

Whatever happened to these things? You really never see a hip flask anymore. I used to see them all the time. Mom's funeral is tomorrow and as I fill mine (it's a family tradition) I realize I haven't seen one in 10+ years.