bullets

Blew all my accounts trying to pass them for tomorrow i really am not sure what to do trading social media being my "job" makes me feel like i cant take time off but wow i just dont even want to see a candle stick for a long time but the momentum of the content hamster wheel has me really wondering what my next move needs to be i cant throw away all the progress ive made on social media just because im trading bad but honestly in the hardest spot in my trading jounrey ever having to navigate it in a small spotlight and all i know is to show up everyday so the thought of not showing up for a little bit seems like the complete opposite of what i need to do fuck everyone who clowns on me or likes to see me lose and thank you to everyone who supports me and understands who tough trading is i was 1 click away from deleting my youtube channel tonight but couldnt bring myself too part of me wants to never trade again as im hit with the reality that i just might never be able to control my emotions but the other half of me knows if i never quit i can't lose and will succeed someday i dont want to be part of the statistic of failures but almost 3 years in i cant control my impulsive trading or bad habits i know how to trade very well but i dont have the patience and discipline to actually let my edge play out and to win the right way the reality is most people lose money trading otherwise props wouldnt exist (that being said im actually up all time on props but point being) so i know im not alone in the struggles of day trading but this shit is so far from sunshine and rainbows i guess to conclude this long rant that doesnt matter to anyone but myself is that sometimes the next step isnt quite clear idk if i take a long break short break or show back up 9:30 am Est market open tomorrow