I am Unique Ems

To all women • To make a man happy, respect him nothing makes him feel more complete than feeling respected. • Support his dreams and stand beside him, not behind or ahead, but with him. • Appreciate his efforts by noticing the small gestures and the silent sacrifices he makes. •Give him peace of mind and love him in a way that makes his heart feel at home. • Love him truly without conditions, without comparisons, just purely. To all men: • To make a woman happy, be her best friend share secrets, laughter, and quiet moments. • Give her your time and attention, because your presence will always mean more than gifts. • Make her feel beautiful, not just in her looks but in her soul. Communicate openly and let your heart be as transparent as your words. • Make her laugh, stay loyal and honest, support her passions, and stand by her during storms when life feels the hardest

@musikana_uya @_maruva_ Acquiescence 😂😂😂😂

@_maruva_ Omg I missed out! Hanzi kudii ko?

There's chaos then there's maiguru Sonja

@tonnie_montana Tonnie Kwana😂😂😂😂😂

Paweekend ndakaenda kurufu nemfesi wangu akadamburwa ruoko nechikirimbani ari mudiki saka ane prosthetic arm..tasvika, ndakutopinda muden ndichibata vanhu maoko..idzo dzakango gara padoor dzikabvisa ruoko dzikapa vanhu kuti vatambidzane..munhu aingotambira oti “aonekwa” opa umwe

@HandsomeWepaZW @MacBelts 20%😂😂😂

@MacBelts 🤣Aizve saka Lulu atova kutoonekwa kunge haasi enough?

Seems the Chigananda household is standing on one leg now. Takes Sonja to the High Court coz dude wants her back. You better be singing the Take That I want you back for good song dude 😂😂😂😂

@MacBelts @SANDEJAQ Pent pent or pent in the house 🙈😂😂😂😂😂

@SANDEJAQ Access to penthouse

Eaglesvale school ikapihwa kuti imhanye Ministry of Transport nhamo dze transport dzinopera mu Zim

@samsonzulu @msiziworld @karrabeast If they are lucky otherwise 2 weeks

@msiziworld @karrabeast In roughly 27 days you will be going back to Dischem.

82 nappies packed. Ngizobabona after 82 days e dischem😊

@pecson007 @msiziworld 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@msiziworld Looks like you are underestimating the kakistocracy of babies

@msiziworld Your maths ain’t mathing 😂😂😂

@antomukuwa Oxygen more like 😂😂😂

Vane pfungwa dzinenge dzehuku unonzwa vachiti nevasina mota vari kungoComplainer 😂😂haqqq munoti makombi atinoshandisa anofamba neWeti here

@Panashe_Cal @J_Murove Hakuna munhu akaitasewe 😂😂😂😂😂 love the confafa

@J_Murove Iyoyo Sister Betina ndeyedu tese.

What is Zimbabwe’s “Sister Betina” song… like inosimudza munhu wese every time without fail

@Zweli_Thixo 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 @tonnie_montana this one could be your half brother 😂

As a young kid growing up in the streets of South Africa, KwaMhlanga. None of my classmates liked me because of my stupidity, especially my teacher, who was always yelling at me, "You are driving me crazy Zweli !" One day, my mother came to the school to check on how I was doing. The teacher told my mother honestly that I'm simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career! My mother was shocked at the feedback, withdrew me from the school, and even moved to another place! 25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable heart disease. All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open heart operation, which only one surgeon could perform. Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful. When she opened her eyes after the surgery, she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her! She wanted to thank him but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but eventually died! Obviously, out of shock and trying to work out what went wrong. When he turned around, he saw me, working as a cleaner in the clinic, I cluelessly had unplugged the oxygen equipment to connect my phone charger! 😭

@1SaWutete @tonnie_montana He has always been

@tonnie_montana 🤣🤣🤣Tony these days uri nonsensical iwe 🤣🤣🤣

2009 ndakazombo danana nerimwe bhebhi rainzi Ellen musavadha anga ari serious nezve church mwana iyeye.. aiti tichiona t.v pakabuda nguruve aibva adzima t.v onotora bhaibheri opfugama onamata😭..

@fun1010zw @tonnie_montana Taka Tina and God Guluva @Zweli_Thixo 😂😂😂😂

@tonnie_montana Dai kwaive nemaPhD enhema iwewe naTaka Tina mungadai matove maprofessor😂😂😂

@tonnie_montana Ukwane Montana 😂😂😂😂

Teaching my daughter about payroll withholding She did chores all week so I owe her $10 I hand her $7 > this isn't $10 "right, I withheld the rest" > what does that mean "I kept $3 of your money" > but it's my money "It was your money" > what are you even doing with it? "Funding household infrastructure" > what "The roof over your head. The hallway you walk through to get to the bathroom. The door locks that keep strangers out" > you're charging me for the hallway "I'm charging you for access to the hallway. The hallway itself was a capital expenditure" > you're my dad. you're supposed to--- "I'm also your government" > what if I don't want to pay for the hallway "Then I can't guarantee the hallway" > it's a hallway. It's already there "For now" She asks what else the $3 covers "Meals, dispute resolution, nightlight maintenance" > dispute resolution? "When your brother takes your toys and I make him give them back. That's taxpayer funded" > that's just parenting "That's the Department of Justice" > what about meals. You already feed me "That's a social program. Not everyone qualifies" > I'm your daughter "Which is why you're currently enrolled" She wants to see where the money goes I tell her that would require a FOIA request > what's that "A form asking me to show you what I do with your money. Processing time is 6 to 8 weeks" > 6 weeks to see where my $3 went? "Could be longer. We're understaffed" > there's two of you She asks how she gets any of it back "It's already spent" > you spent my money already? "We had a budget shortfall" > you just took it 20 seconds ago "And the deficit existed 30 seconds ago. The timing worked out" > so I'm not getting it back "I didn't say that. You might qualify for a refund" > of my own money "Correct. You just have to fill out a form telling me how much you made" > you know how much I made. You paid me "Right but I need you to tell me how much I paid you" > so you already know the answer "The point is compliance" She asks what happens if she gets the number wrong "Penalty" > from the money I don't have because you already spent it? "We could set up a payment plan" > I'm 8 "Monthly installments. Very manageable" > you're going to penalize me for getting wrong a number you already know and then make me pay you back with money you took from me "Now you're getting it" > I want to talk to mom "Mom's not a qualified representative. She can't help you here" She stormed off to her room saying how this is extortion Slammed the door That's my little citizen I've never been more proud

@Matt_Pinner I am here

Anyone?

@antomukuwa Go to Gava if you want to see big people and none shares their portion they all eat their food and finish . My guy even the kids are equally XXhealthy 😂😂😂

Ndiri muChicken Inn right now and mune vanhu 5 vese vakafuta big time and they are buying chicken in I end up not being sure kuti chii chiri kukonzeresa chimwe,like does eating fast food cause people to be huge or huge people eat fast foods!

@TheRealMotase 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Connie Ferguson DMed me on TT. She says she's stranded in Dubai and she needs my help as I'm her only trusted follower.. she says she will compensate me 10× the money I'll help her with as soon as she is home 🤣😂😭

@begottensun 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I just saw this long episode of Murungu akati “f*ck you and go f*ck your bitch” to an employee and the employee when kwaMambo to complain and got 4 Goats judgement against his Murungu boss. 🤣