Neill Carroll

One challenge of fatherhood I did not expect was for my son to start asking me questions about 9/11 while we were AT THE AIRPORT

Every MLB team should be allowed to have one Designated Guy on Steroids

That Sixers-Celtics outcome was part of the AJ Brown trade

@charlieo_conn I’m seeing double here…four Tippetts!

Looks like it's an optional morning skate. I count only 14 guys. Tippett, Michkov, Tippett, Cates, Grundstrom, Hathaway, Juulsen, York, Seeler, Andrae, Jiricek, Bonk, Ersson, Kolosov.

Take a bow, Dan Vladar.

Let Topper drop the first puck at the Flyers game tomorrow

Watching playoff hockey and listening to Steely Dan. Pure bliss.

Rick Tocchet I was wrong about you

My six-year-old definitely uses toilet paper like someone who doesn’t remember how hard it was to find toilet paper six years ago.

The Lead Singer of Korn: “I still don’t know what to call our band.” The Lead Guitarist of Korn: “I have a few ideas.” The Lead Singer of Korn: “I’m all ears.” The Lead Guitarist of Korn: “Wait, that’s it!”

Sometimes you have a great day writing and go back to read it later and feel terrible because it’s absolute shit, but sometimes you have a bad day writing and go back to read it later and feel great because you were right, it’s absolute shit.

Absolutely nobody reads my tweets (Xs?) anymore, but as someone who just started a Substack page I am contractually obligated to post that I started a Substack page. Here it is: neillcarroll.substack.com

Pro sports have changed a lot since I was a kid. Back then I could watch an interview with a promising young player and not be hit with the sudden realization that he’s young enough to be my son.

Between my kids and my phone at least I know one of them is listening to me

Your government has lost so much respect for you that they don’t even feel the need to lie about WMDs anymore.

In line, to myself: “grande cold brew with cream grande cold brew with cream grande cold brew with cream” At the counter, out loud: “grande cold blew with cream please”

He’s making a list He’s checking it twice He has short-term memory loss He’s checking it again

I finished the Lord of the Rings trilogy during our flight home from vacation and had to turn the reading light off so that my sons wouldn’t see me crying

Putting my phone on Do Not Disturb for the next five hours

I know I should be teaching my son early about the dangers of alcohol but it’s a lot more fun to just tell him which guys in the Bud Light commercial used to come to my open mic