Nick Pickard

I think this one man has just summed up the mood of the entire nation. Bravo 👏

@StyringDan @arghkid I was going to say it sounds better but maybe not!

@nickcpickard @arghkid “Man I knew”👀👀👀👀👀

@arghkid The youngest child of a local family who weren’t known for the cleanliness was known as Last of the muckyuns

@StyringDan @FlindtTowers Tell Charlie FW has never been the same since he finished. My Fridays consisted of reading his piece and waiting for Ben to emerge from the khazi

Whilst the majority of the country will be following events in Germany tonight, I am off to Manor Farm, Hinton Ampner with @FlindtTowers Far more civilised

@ladbible My nephew has a cat called Audrey

What's the most human name you've ever known a pet to have?

@uncensoredusa Could teach Rishi Sunak a thing or two!

Watch the happiness of this 2-year-old mastering the art of hammering with his grandpa in this video! 🔨👶#SkillsInProgress

Petition: Reform the Grocery Supply Code of Practice to better protect farmers petition.parliament.uk/petitions/6432…

There’s one thing better than winning the World Cup. Winning “the best Dad” award. 💚

@LizWebsterSBF @FarmersWeekly @Minette_Batters @Jacob_Rees_Mogg @SaveBritishFood Why the majority of farmers voted for Brexit I still find hard to understand

@FarmersWeekly @Minette_Batters @Jacob_Rees_Mogg @SaveBritishFood Surely it’s time to face facts that Brexit was always about destroying British agriculture! dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8…

🗣️ Farm leader @Minette_Batters has accused Conservative MP @Jacob_Rees_Mogg of seeking to destroy British ag after he backed imports of hormone-fed Australian beef. @LizWebsterSBF | @SaveBritishFood

A British writer penned the best description of Donald Trump I’ve ever read: “Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?” A few things spring to mind. Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace – all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed. So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief. Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing – not once, ever. I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility – for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman. But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is – his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty. Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers. And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults – he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness. There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface. Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront. Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul. And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege. And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully. That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead. There are unspoken rules to this stuff – the Queensberry rules of basic decency – and he breaks them all. He punches downwards – which a gentleman should, would, could never do – and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless – and he kicks them when they are down. So the fact that a significant minority – perhaps a third – of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think ‘Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that: • Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are. • You don’t need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man. This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss. After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum. God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid. He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart. In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws – he would make a Trump. And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish: ‘My God… what… have… I… created?' If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set.” -Nate White

That time Luke Aikins jumped from 25,000 feet (7,620 m), skydiving from a mid-tropospheric altitude and landing safely without a parachute or a wingsuit using a 30 by 30 meters net

Wonder why Australian beef is cheaper than British beef? The video on the left is 🇦🇺 govt funded feedlot houses 70,000 animals fed only grain to fatten quicker. Our British cattle on the right graze across acres with plenty of trees for shade. Each has a passport.

@Feargal_Sharkey I pinched one of your Consulate menthol cigarettes when you played the Retford Porterhouse. Happy days!

Did I mention that I used to be captain of the Irish smoking team.

The South Park rinsing of Meghan & Harry is lethally brilliant… suspect this is how most Americans now feel about them. twitter.com/BadgercIops/st…

@StyringDan @Waterstones @StigAbell The only thing you’re expanding is your waistline due to lack of exercise. On yer bike!

@nickcpickard @Waterstones @StigAbell Always time to expand one’s mind. Something you should consider in retirement, before your brain stops working and you become a cyclist, oh hang on…….

Cheeky little @Waterstones delivery today, keeping up with my New Year resolution, to work through the classics that I have never got round to. @StigAbell managed to sneak in as well 👀 Where to next? #books #agoodread #readingforpleasure #BookTwitter

@russbmckenzie Be careful there was a speed camera van along that road last week would you believe!

I reckon all roundabouts in the UK should be like this one!

@piersmorgan Ronaldo is past it. Pepe isn’t!

‘Ronaldo’s too old.’ Pepe’s 39.

@StyringDan No doubt with a very big smile on your face after the Wales result!

Twickers bound! #ENGvNZ