Nic

Never understood people who get angry over hot cross buns being on shelves at supermarkets a bit early. Like oh no a delicious tasty treat is available to me now?? That’s so fucked??? Grow up

Did u grow up in an AFL state or an NRL state? Fucken neither I grew up in a state of longing

Girl dinner ❤️

Your honor my client is better off alone

People say “there’s so many fish in the sea!” and i’m like yeah, that’s the problem. I’ve been on a campaign to drain the ocean ever since I discovered how big manta rays are

me in psych ward me with boy I like 🤝 72 hour hold

Spending my tax return on name brand anti-depressants and a podcast mic ❤️

Once they invent a cure for being a total slave to any and all awful whims that enter my head it is OVER for you bitches

They call it dry July because I’m not getting horny sober

Declaring bankruptcy at Sydney airport customs

Dissociating big time at Broadway Glassons rn

@MickDoohan7 Can’t believe Australian motorcycle racer Mick Doohan just responded to my tweet

@nicotineepatch Thanks rick

Catching up w an old friend who exclusively refers to me as “Dick” (short for Dickola) which is shock to a system of already fried nerves

Do I wanna go back to stand up comedy? or do I just need to call life line again? The tyranny of questioning rolls on

If you see me eating ham from the bag in Prince Alfred Park just know I am FINE but I am NOT TO BE DISTURBED under any circumstances

Inventing time travel just to knock the pen out of Joan Armatrading’s hand before she could write The Weakness in Me

And feeling EVEN more I Dont Wanna Be Funny Anymore by Lucy Dacus rn fr

Feeling extremely Under Pressure in Aftersun scene rn