nina treemonkey

{Commercial for Floors} Is this you? {footage of man falling endlessly to oblivion}

@UncleDuke1969 wait what do I do to lock it

salt-n-pepa: *nod approvingly*

@70Ceeks I have died. Thank you for this death

Yall let’s free Britney thisll be so great!! {Britney’s demons}

Judge: "pls describe the criminal" Me: "she had them apple bottom jeans" Lawyer: "and boots with the fur?" {the whole jury lookin at her}

@hippieswordfish I dont know how to stop giving him money

@ninatreemonkey I’m voluntarily paying extra for my Car because of him

@dulcetry I have died

There are people who can eat a mint. And then there are people who’s entire persona changes into a person who eats mints.

Me as a teenager finally seeing a real life penis, “I don’t know that this looks that much like the drawings, guys.”

I will kill one Britney staff member every day until someone hands her a goddamn q-tip and tells her she has mascara under her eyes

@hippieswordfish When you tweet it’s also called a Kyle

@ninatreemonkey that's right

So is Twitter spelled “X” but pronounced “Kyle” now?

@Bob_Lesh My exhusband had it

Why are there so many commercials for drugs to treat moderate to severe plaque psoriasis? How many of you are afflicted with this?

@hippieswordfish Hellllllllya

haven't smoked a cig in 3 years today. can i get hell yeah

@dulcetry I like when you see comments from girls wishing they would sew them in and I’m like, why y’all mofos want deformed and shitty boobs so bad??

@online_shawn That’s awesome!

Eleven years sober.

@Bob_Lesh Weeeeeiiiiird

@ninatreemonkey Oh absolutely. Have a full size of your favorite candy bar. It’s a whole different world

The biggest lie ever told is that “fun size” candy bars taste just like the real ones. They don’t. It’s not close.

@Burger_Time_ 397,000

@dulcetry I want an expoundshion