Iamade 🦅

I'm petty! I check my mutuals constantly to know who's unfollowed, so I can unfollow them too 😂

@ComptonZak66 So, after one person has agreed to pay for you, you went ahead and asked all the seven!? For what sake?

So yesterday evening at exactly 8:55pm, I was at the filling station, I got a full tank which was around 86k and was about to pay but it kept saying Declined & my Gtb bank app wouldn't even open. Had to park by the side cus I can't leave until I pay them. I then started sending my very close friends multiple text via WhatsApp in their private dms to help me pay and I’ll refund soon as my bank app opens. I was suprised All 7 of them were ready to come through and they all asked for the filing station bank details. The point is, it’s very important that you surround your self with capable people that would trust you & be able to come through for you even during money emergencies cus people don’t even borrow others money lately due to how hard the country is

@dimmakilishi I need ☝🏾 but, on one condition, their mom must be included

My children won’t put me in trouble. A man placed order and my children replied him with this pant and bra emoji. Oga will think I’m throwing myself on him. Who need 8yrs and 6yrs old babies? They’re currently on sales 😩

@aweowoblow @ashiedu_victor What is even more pathetic are those "unverified" fools that he threw jab at but are still defending him

@ashiedu_victor @ofad_1029 Eyin ma tun stupid yato oo... Which one is "unverified account again"? Una verification dey give us air to breath? How much be the verification wey you think others cannot afford? You guys express classism at every opportunity given to you...

My wife is very funny oh 😂 Because today is a holiday, we slept till almost 12pm. When we woke up she didn’t have that strength to start thinking of what to cook. Finally she said we should just have noodles for lunch. She made it and served me. I saw 1 and half eggs in my plate. I didn’t give it any thought and just started eating. I finished and went to keep the plate in the kitchen only to find her nicodemusly eating from the pot with 2 and half eggs inside. The way we both burst into laughter just now ehn 😂

@fuji_waz @ashiedu_victor And unverified accounts are the majority of his followers. Good you can see how daft he is 👍🏾

@ashiedu_victor @ofad_1029 " I normally don't reply unverified accounts" bro this is just a weird thing to say

@ashiedu_victor Okay 👌🏾

@ofad_1029 I normally don’t reply unverified accounts but I’ll do this so that others who see your post will not believe your ideology. My marriage is not new. Go and work on yours and you’ll see that you will experience newness daily

@Ayoelesho Such a restaurant's experience can be traumatizing. The last time I visited such, I avoided every restaurants for over a year

A restaurant recently opened in my area. It’s beautiful and classy but to eat there, you have to book a reservation months in advance. Not just that, you have to be in constant communication with the management to show that you’re worthy of eating there. For four months, I constantly communicated with this classy restaurant, convincing the management and showing that they wouldn’t regret letting me have a taste of their food. Finally they agreed and a date was set. I excitedly headed to the restaurant, happy that I would finally have a taste of what I had chased for months. Of course, they were welcoming and the environment was nice. Then it was time to eat. They brought a plate of soup and as soon as it was placed on the table, a strong fishy odour hit my nostrils. I knew it was coming from the plate but I didn’t want to believe that such a beautiful restaurant that I struggled to get into for months would present a rotten fish. So, I checked to see if the odour was coming from outside but the odour in the room drew me back in. Of course, I couldn’t eat the food and just asked for a Bottle of Juice instead. I got that, took it, and left. Since then, I have refused to contact the restaurant and also have not picked their calls. This morning, I got this text from them, “You chased us for months, made us believe you were a good person, got access to us, used us, and dumped us. It is our God that will judge you. Wicked man” But the truth is that I never intended to dump them after gaining access. In fact, I genuinely liked them but what I expected and chased for four months was not what I met. I feel like I have been deceived and I’m mad at them for wasting my time. This tweet is not about restaurants.

@Bunmie_oguns And your neighbor is probably in her WhatsApp group telling them how she saved you from almost embarrassing yourself and they are having a good laugh about it. Even though it can happen to anybody, still yet, next time, check your pocket well

I was coming back from church yesterday, and as a “I don’t like holding cash” babe, I only had ₦500 on me. My transport to my store is ₦300. On the way, I bought nylon for ₦100, balance now ₦400. Entered keke, then one of my church grandmas entered too. Her stop is very close, fare ₦200. Immediately, I opened my big girl mouth: “I’ll pay ma.” Meanwhile I had forgotten that my cash at hand was: ₦400. As we moved, my neighbour (same bus stop gang) entered too. At this point, I was even wishing I had like ₦1000 so I could pay for her too not knowing I was already in financial trouble already. We got to our stop, I dipped my hand into my bag with full confidence to bring out ₦500, Na ₦400 greet me 😭😭😭 That was when it hit me. “Ah. Olubunmi, you don price yourself out of this keke.” And if you know Lagos keke drivers, they don’t have patience for nonsense. Insult would have started immediately. I was just about to humbly ask “Oga will you take transfer?” when my neighbour said, “I’ll pay for all of us.” That was how she saved me yesterday o. God really said, “My daughter, your generosity almost embarrassed you, let me step in.” 😂😂

@SirJarus Let me say something, as a tiler, what could probably cause this is not DPC. Two things that I've observed over 15 years that usually cause this are: 1. There is no or not enough cement in the sand mixing of the floor screeding. 2. The floor is not properly cleaned before tiling.

I'm not a technical person in construction. I'm the business/strategy person. I defer to my technical experts on technical matters. So I will defer to engineers/builders here. But my guess is, poor filling and not doing or doing Damp Proof Course (DPC) before tiling. It doesn't look like they cast the surface well before tiling.

@Bunmie_oguns Like, I go just plug am to my mouth and e go brush my teeth for me!?

I change mine every two months and I know it's hard for some people to change theirs that is why I will advise you to get the rechargeable toothbrush. The rechargeable toothbrush comes with three extra head so that makes it four. After two months, dispose that one and take another head shikena. With 10000 naira you will get one. You go buy abi you no go buy.

@dimmakilishi @TgCafe Great woman, great business! Your kilishi is gonna be worldwide

There’s something a lot of you don’t know about Kilishi… Sokoto has its unique way of making Kilishi. Zamfara also has its own style. In fact, these are two of the major states known for Kilishi before other northern states follow, and each state has its distinct method. A core northern man can taste Kilishi and tell you where it’s from. That’s why when you go to buy Kilishi, you’ll see different colours, different textures, and completely different tastes. Now let me talk about mine… You will NEVER find my kind of Kilishi anywhere. People have taken my Kilishi to Area 1 to compare and search then found nothing like it. I got to know when they come back to buy from me. God gave me this recipe, and that’s why I’m standing strong in this business. There’s a solid union guiding Kilishi producers, and they know I’m not just playing in this industry. I’ve seen people who said they don’t like Kilishi fall completely in love after tasting mine. Mine is love at first bite ❤️ I’ll tell you what I did differently in another post…

@mrs_dimplesz Many women's specs are what the man can offer, not how he looks or behaves

A question I have been itching to ask for some time now. Do women even have a spec in a man?? If we actually do, some choices in men I have seen my gender make is shocking o 🤣🤣🤣

@arojinle1 One of the reasons why I stick to the one that has mastered taking it all

I've said it countless times: 99% of women cannot handle a penis that's above 7 inches. I think a lot of people form their idea of sex from porn and that's the wrongest place you can build your idea on. It's like trying to live your life based on what you see in Bollywood. I have read interviews from pornstars who said they just smile for the camera but they're deeply in pain when they engage with men on the bigger side. Some of them had to be injected with lidocaine to reduce their sensitivity. Two lessons are here. 1. Don't kill yourself with different herbs and medicines that won't work simply because you're looking for long penis. You'll just damage your liver and kidney for nothing! 2. Having a bigger penis won't automatically make your life better. You'll still need to learn how to safely use it. More to come.

@mrs_dimplesz 😒😒

Chaiiiii, I don use my bad character to pursue this sweet guy again 😐😏😔. Una sure say I go see this love wey una dey talk about ??

@arojinle1 Oluko, please, start the topic on penises and vaginas and let's leave snakes for now 🙏🏾

I'm not an expert but, I studied penis and vagina for 7 months. In 2019, part of the topics of our MSc BIC 701 course is Biochemistry of Erection. We were taught by Prof. E.O. Farombi, one of the greatest scientists in Nigeria and Africa. Because it has never occurred to me to study how the penis gets erect and all, I was fascinated by the topic. My mates would testify that I was very active in class during that period. Anyways, I started researching about penis, erection, lasting long and so on. I read journals, magazines, interviews from pornstars and so on. At some point, I felt the need to understand the vagina too. So, I started. My eyes opened to a lot of things and I was able to clear myself off of many misconceptions. I would read other courses and come back to this one. Along the line, I had to stop and focus on other topics. Guess what? Biochemistry of Erection did not come out in both test and exam. I was super pained. But then, the knowledge is still there.

@Medzonetv I used stop diarrhea by eating coke and bread

Me: Your daughter is severely dehydrated and her sodium levels are dangerously high. What have you been giving her for the diarrhea? Mom: I’m using the "Home ORS" I learned online. Me: Standard ORS is salt, sugar, and water. How are you making yours? Mom: I don't use water; it’s too weak to stop the runny stomach. I mix two spoons of salt into a bottle of Coke and give it to her every 30 minutes. 🥤  Me: Salt and... Coke? Mom: Yes! The Coke gives her energy to fight the stooling, and the salt "binds" the water in her body so it won't come out again. I even added a little ginger to "warm" her stomach. Me: Ma'am, the high sugar in Coke actually draws more water into the intestines, making the diarrhea worse. You are literally pickling your child’s organs with that much salt. Me: 👇

@BukolaOni10 Some NYSC members too dey do sha! When I was in sec.sch. Mr Atilola, the corps member go pursue student reach the end of the world, showing off himself but thank God we are responsible people in the community, that's why nothing was done to him

A male NYSC corps member was posted to a government secondary school in Ekiti State. He had repeatedly warned a group of students who were in the habit of hiding in the bush after arriving late to school. One day, while correcting them, a confrontation broke out and one of the boys struck him with a ring. The impact reportedly left the corps member blind instantly. His Head of Department happens to be a family friend.

@mrs_dimplesz I like peaceful lady that don't nag, intelligent and smell good, and know how to give good sex. How can I leave a woman with such qualities!?

After sex, what's next? There are two major factors ladies complain about sex in a relationship. 1. "After giving him my body, he left me." 2. "He left because I refused to give him my body." Those who give and those who refuse to give are complaining. So, what’s the difference? Ladies, listen. If sex is the only thing you can offer a man in a relationship, you'd better remain single. Relationship is not buying and selling. Are you sound intellectually, physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally? Men love intelligent ladies. Men love ladies with ideas. Men love respectful ladies. Men love ladies who are good at multitasking. You need to build yourself beyond sex. Be a productive lady. Men are looking for ladies with solutions and ideas, not those who paint their faces and shake their bombom online. Because all this will fade, but what you have in your head will remain. I hope this makes some sense to you. If you like, keep looking at me

@EleluAyoola The man must be mad! Shey the daughter of the likes of Otedola, Dangote or Okoya are looking for poor man to marry ni?

Nigerians did you see the guy Okoya’s daughter got married to on Saturday? He is a billionaire son from Ilorin, like her father. The same thing all our politicians are doing their children are getting married to each other but you that your mother is 'oni ru, Abi Alata' that they took cooperative money to send you to school, you will now go and marry a p00r d!rty girl. You will be calling it love, may Love k!l you there Didn’t you see Otedola's daughter, Dangote's daughter, Elumelu and all these big politicians' daughters?? You will d!e in p0verty very soon And some stvpid men would have gotten married before, when they want to take a second wife they would go and marry a poor single mother. Your svfferness has just started, there’s no love without money My advice to you is to go and get married to a rich man's daughter because it’s either you are rich or you d!e trying to get rich. ~ A man says.

@dimmakilishi So sorry dear, send me your location so I can help you warm up

I don’t understand the kind of rain that just fell now 😩 I was at the market buying raw materials for production. Immediately I finished and started heading to the main gate… boom heavy rain started. There was no place to hide. Everybody with me got completely drenched. If you’re in Abuja, you’ll understand this wasn’t ordinary rain. The kind that feels like we offended the gods of the land 😩 I even heard it uprooted some people’s roofs! See me now, soaked from head to toe… In fact, I was practically under the rain till it stopped 🥲 I’m literally shivering as I type this 🥶 When I finally buy a Rolls-Royce, remember today… this rain and suffering no go be in vain.