Jesus H Christ 😀
25.8K posts

Jesus H Christ 😀
@officialHJesus
#Resist. Gods first born. Apprentice carpenter. I have risen..again! Currently grounded for eternity but working on it. Lets spread the word of love....

My wife left me for a man who earns less than I do. Drives an older car. Smaller apartment. No status by any external measure. I spent six months trying to understand it. Then I spent one afternoon with him. And I understood immediately:


This might be a dumb question but… What killed Jesus the second time? He died on the cross, then three days later the Easter Bunny brought him back to life... and then what? Did he just go back to chilling?

38 years ago, I had a wonderful magical wedding followed by a wonderful magical life. What a lucky girl I was. ❤️




I'm obsessed with fan made AI Star Wars Chapters. Darth Vader visits Padme's grave. Credit: Lost Holocrons on YT




Jesus was a liberal who got crucified because he wouldn't comply with law enforcement.


What's a conspiracy theory you believe with your whole heart?

Don’t explore inside the earth…it’s liquid magma. Obviously it’s not a magical lattice of interconnected crystals storing conscious information.

Porn is just a click away. So is the Bible. Choose wisely.

I'm not an archeologist, but I know exactly what that is. Lol

The Bible is true. All of it.





