k8

My favorite memes are Chris Christie beach chair ones so this one is just purrrrrfect, dahling

Happy Mother’s Day!

Finally placed it: my daughter’s post nap hair: Jesse Camp.

I had my first “mama bear” moment yesterday in response to a passive aggressive email from youth soccer (!) and while it was incredibly energizing and felt so good to verbally eviscerate someone, I fear I’m chasing the dragon now. I want the sender’s tears.

Update - girls have vatriangles

Currently living on Tylenol and a prayer in our household as the 1 year old molars pop

Son started soccer and I still love that Selena/Kygo jam.

"marty supreme lost all of its oscars nominations"

Please take me out of the family group chat.

2 year old son licked my face and said “no like cream, other one” and then licked the other side of my face and said “mmmm” and I’m now thinking wtf did I put on this morning?

Absolutely nothing - talking 10+ years of teaching included - has prepared me to keep a straight face when my 2 yr old son looks at random people in a store and says to me, “Mommy, does he have penis?”

I want a lemon drop martini and hot goss with my friends.

Never deleting this app

There was no cake at the wedding I went to last night. I’m not taking questions at this time, please respect my need to grieve in private.

When I say “hip” you say “HOP LITTLE BUNNIES HOP HOP HOP!”

Handyman Hal is the Florida man version of Blippi

Just resigned.

I deserve this pedicure.

Just went back to an older piece of writing and ick.

About to tear shit up in Home Goods.