Sensei⛩

bumped into a guy from school at bar who now works at the president's office & when he asked“what are you upto?” I said“just getting a beer”

You know that moment when you connect with someone and you feel alive? Avoid it. That's how love starts and i don't recommend it.

Twitter, because i owe people on Facebook money.

Unconditional love exists only when the conditions are met.

Where in our relationship does it say we have to share a plate of fries? I swear to God I'll stab you with a fork.

Whoever stole my shoes while I was on that bouncy castle needs to grow up.

She's not slow at texting, she's probably texting other guys who are more established in life than you. So be patient and wait for your turn

What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years? Church.

Is there any record of what people ate before Instagram?

bumped into a guy from school at bar who now works at the president's office & when he asked“what are you upto?” I said“just getting a beer”

If you wake up in the morning & yesterday's pants still have the belt in them, they automatically become today's pants. That's undebatable.

Whenever I see a thin person jogging I feel like hugging, tightly holding him/her and whisper... it's ok, you're not fat. Calm down.. GOD!!!

Guys, you're not allowed to tell a woman who's mad at you to calm down. That's not how they're wired. You're probably opening a can of bees.

I just want to thank everyone from the university, i saw in public this year who silently agreed to pretend we didn't notice one another.

Burglars are probably the only people that take everything personal without taking anything personal. It's just business

"Hey, wanna lie to each other over cups of coffee?" - First dates

It's important to have two opinions in a relationship: Her opinion, and my opinion the one she ignores.

2024 what a year! If you don't wish me a happy birthday today. I'll take it that we're not the fake internet friends I thought we were.

Trevor Noah...on how Christianity works: "If you’re Native American and you pray to the wolves, you’re a savage. If you’re African and you pray to your ancestors, you’re a primitive. But when white people pray to a guy who turns water into wine, well, that’s just common sense."

My 2 cents on street preachers...I personally think a small number of individuals wake up really early in the morning & station themselves at busy intersections & crowded places just to scream & shout threats at people going about their business talmbout how they're going to hell

That Alchemist bar in Bugolobi is simply a bunch of 35+-year-old people getting together and enjoying their money as they should.