Sensei⛩

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Sensei⛩

Sensei⛩

@onume_

listen *drags cigarette* you don’t wanna tweet, kid *exhales* we already did all the jokes.

Somewhere Else Katılım Ağustos 2011
225 Takip Edilen3.8K Takipçiler
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
bumped into a guy from school at bar who now works at the president's office & when he asked“what are you upto?” I said“just getting a beer”
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
You know that moment when you connect with someone and you feel alive? Avoid it. That's how love starts and i don't recommend it.
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
Twitter, because i owe people on Facebook money.
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
Unconditional love exists only when the conditions are met.
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
Where in our relationship does it say we have to share a plate of fries? I swear to God I'll stab you with a fork.
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
Whoever stole my shoes while I was on that bouncy castle needs to grow up.
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
She's not slow at texting, she's probably texting other guys who are more established in life than you. So be patient and wait for your turn
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years? Church.
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
Is there any record of what people ate before Instagram?
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
bumped into a guy from school at bar who now works at the president's office & when he asked“what are you upto?” I said“just getting a beer”
English
3
163
331
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Sensei⛩ retweetledi
Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
If you wake up in the morning & yesterday's pants still have the belt in them, they automatically become today's pants. That's undebatable.
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
Whenever I see a thin person jogging I feel like hugging, tightly holding him/her and whisper... it's ok, you're not fat. Calm down.. GOD!!!
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
Guys, you're not allowed to tell a woman who's mad at you to calm down. That's not how they're wired. You're probably opening a can of bees.
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
I just want to thank everyone from the university, i saw in public this year who silently agreed to pretend we didn't notice one another.
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
Burglars are probably the only people that take everything personal without taking anything personal. It's just business
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
"Hey, wanna lie to each other over cups of coffee?" - First dates
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
It's important to have two opinions in a relationship: Her opinion, and my opinion the one she ignores.
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
2024 what a year! If you don't wish me a happy birthday today. I'll take it that we're not the fake internet friends I thought we were.
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
Trevor Noah...on how Christianity works: "If you’re Native American and you pray to the wolves, you’re a savage. If you’re African and you pray to your ancestors, you’re a primitive. But when white people pray to a guy who turns water into wine, well, that’s just common sense."
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
My 2 cents on street preachers...I personally think a small number of individuals wake up really early in the morning & station themselves at busy intersections & crowded places just to scream & shout threats at people going about their business talmbout how they're going to hell
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Sensei⛩
Sensei⛩@onume_·
That Alchemist bar in Bugolobi is simply a bunch of 35+-year-old people getting together and enjoying their money as they should.
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