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@oppaitekcore

alt:@_jaaded_ aroace jp rave song happy pumping hardtek tribecore frenchcore liker polysubstance user

20 nb she/he Katılım Temmuz 2023
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
This is literally the only thing that prevents me from interacting with ppl anymore i'm more secure in myself in terms of rejection than i ever was and then its like my brain made up another thing to worry about instead to prevent me from doing it lmfao
jad x@oppaitekcore

Looking more into the article i posted here about hyperawareness ocd i found the newsletter where they mention a related type of staring ocd which is even worse for me than hyperawareness. This shit made it impossible to attend lectures or be around other people at all at uni

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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
Rip mat weasel busters
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
Also it’s not personal
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
It might be a form of existential ocd it’s such a strong feeling and difficult to have insight into that it might be tied to cptsd or smth too
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
I can think of very few more stressful feelings, uncertainty specifically in communication/interpretation rlly rlly gets to me if triggered a certain way, it’s like ontological in nature It aggravates my nervous system has a knock on effect on making other parts of ocd worse
jad x@oppaitekcore

I think arguments even if not particularly important ones are an unironic ocd trigger for me, it puts me in an extremely agitated/restless and compulsive state for hours, ill elaborate later

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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
I think arguments even if not particularly important ones are an unironic ocd trigger for me, it puts me in an extremely agitated/restless and compulsive state for hours, ill elaborate later
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
@theokenism It’s the content of the argument itself
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
@theokenism Like it’s not a thing of oh worrying about arguing with ur partner
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
@theokenism It does but not that much with therapeutic doses idk i cant tell because on higher doses i unintentionally stay inside all day
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
@theokenism What confused me was referring to a multiple of 1 “in general” is the exact same as referring to a specific type
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
@theokenism I think most ppl would mean a specific type by that i mean wouldnt i say “different types” if it was general
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
@theokenism Actual fucking suicide fuel i cant think of a worse problem to have
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
@theokenism Exact thing as in pinned or as in ocular tourettic ocd?
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
@theokenism Eyes forward and tell through feel tho i know rationally they just think im anxious or smth
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
@theokenism At least i know that i’m not actually staring at anyone let alone their privates it’s more the general anxiety ppl detect
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
@theokenism I have this exact thing pinned on my profile there’s a related like ocular tourettic ocd where ppl cant stop actually staring at others’ privates and holy shit i feel so bad for ppl who have that
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
@theokenism I literally have no idea what ur talking about
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
@theokenism In public i’d be too preoccupied with my peripheral vision (like when u read “you are now manually breathing” and cant stop being aware of breathing for a bit except its with my peripheral vision) sensorimotor ocd
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jad x
jad x@oppaitekcore·
@theokenism ? It is a specific one im not mentioning
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