Oscar Noetzel

When the email said free beer for the band but you ask and they give you 4 drink tickets instead

@mtg_ds This is just a list of cards with 17 syllables of rules text

🧵 Sokka's is not the first Haiku in Magic! In fact, here is a whole thread of cards with rules text that could be read or formatted as a haiku. Starting with Ankh of Mishra. If the "a" were on line 2, this would be exactly 5/7/5

Yall shouldn't have taught me the word aubergine

There's still time

If boomers don't stop calling someone making a copycat facebook profile being "hacked" I will delete all of facebook

@CriminalShow my band and I (all life long Wisconsinites) are driving home from our gig tonight listening to The Demon Spread and we all held our tongues for the episode to end so we could all at the same time say "I don't fuck with margarine, I've always hated margarine."

This place has the smell of a bar that is meticulously cleaned for good reason

"I can tell your parents had a water bed when you were growing up"

I had a moment of worrying about going bald today but it all went away when I realized that when that happens I'll just shave my head and get my scalp tattooed

I'm playing bingo nobody text

Call me Darth Mault Liquor

This sound guy calls anything that isn't a guitar, bass guitar, or drums a banjo let's go

I just completed the first cash transaction at Ember & Elm at @DollyParton 's new resort Heartsong and then took maybe the first ever mirror selfie in the bathroom

"That was Frank Yankovic with Who Stole The Kishka, requested by Carol who is dishin out gyros down in the Dells, hope you enjoyed"

"This is a request from Flapjack who is selling tootsie rolls at the kwik trip, here's the Dutchmasters" is one if the best on airs I've ever heard from a dj, yall are sleeping on Saturday morning polka

I was thinking about my handwriting today and remembered in school when we'd correct our "neighbor's" work sheet I'd erase and write the correct answer to help that person's score if I thought I could get away with it