Owen

23.3K posts

Owen

Owen

@owrangle

Welcome to my Twitter it’s terrible jokes with a minimum of seven typos and punctuation errors

Auckland, New Zealand Katılım Kasım 2010
1.5K Takip Edilen1.1K Takipçiler
Owen
Owen@owrangle·
He said "Well son! That! That there was Princess Diana!" Then he bowed his head a little and said "We lost a good one there." Gotta be honest the whole interaction was a powerful argument for just ignoring the world and staring at your anxiety rectangle.
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Owen
Owen@owrangle·
I said "Okay hit me with it" He said "Okay who said this: "Nothing gives me more happiness than to try to aid the most vulnerable of this society. Whoever is in distress who calls me, I will come running." I said I had no idea.
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Owen
Owen@owrangle·
I was happily staring at my phone in the cafe this morning and a fella came up to me and said "Ah you're looking at your phone! You know it's bad for you." I said "Yeah I know" and put it down. He said "I have a trivia question, I read this in one of those magazines over there."
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Owen
Owen@owrangle·
You’re into history? Oh yeah? Well I’ll bet you can’t tell me one thing that’s happened.
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Owen
Owen@owrangle·
My housemate asked me when to use “near” and when to use “close” and I have honestly never thought about this in my life
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Owen
Owen@owrangle·
Saints losing a game badly. It’s like a warm blanket. Everything back to normal again. 😌
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Owen
Owen@owrangle·
@Nathcore Yeah I think I got the immersion. 6 Chileans going full weón in the living room. I was just tapping out for long periods because you’re trying so hard to communicate and you stuff SO MUCH UP and it is embarrassing
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Mr. Plopscore
Mr. Plopscore@Nathcore·
@owrangle After 16 learning languages become so much harder, you need to try and immerse yourself
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Owen
Owen@owrangle·
How do people learn languages ever? I think I’m making progress then I learn that I’ve been super confidently using the complete wrong words for stuff
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Owen
Owen@owrangle·
@Nathcore Well executed chilean joke here
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Owen
Owen@owrangle·
I’ve been living with three Chileans for 4 weeks now and let me tell you if you’re looking for a guy who can say “I don’t understand” in Spanish I’m your guy
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Owen
Owen@owrangle·
Did you guys hear about the 6’6” 140kg nightclub bouncer with a shaved head, tattoos down each arm, a black belt in 4 martial arts, a steely glare, and a day job in television post-production? Apparently he was super imposing.
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Owen
Owen@owrangle·
So far of anywhere I’ve been I’ve gotta say Auckland has the worst weather. Consistently no good for anything much at all.
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Owen
Owen@owrangle·
@dylanwightlabor I’ve done some just plain bone headed things that would have had me T-boned by a VS Commodore out of pure spite in Werribee and I’m still here
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Dylan Wight MP
Dylan Wight MP@dylanwightlabor·
@owrangle The strategic placement of those question marks suggests otherwise
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Owen
Owen@owrangle·
I’ve been driving around Auckland for a couple of weeks now, and I gotta say my experience of the local drivers has been pretty good? You don’t hear good feedback about drivers very often but it’s been mostly pretty fine?
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Owen
Owen@owrangle·
Bathroom exhaust fans? Now there’s an extractive industry I can get around!
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Owen
Owen@owrangle·
Looks like the Saints are reaching the back end of the flattery section of this particular flattery-deception cycle
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Owen
Owen@owrangle·
Hey I’ve got one. It’s about a man who - seeking redemption for his imprisonment for 19 years for stealing a loaf of bread for his sister’s starving child - opens an initially revolutionary but sadly Ill-fated nation-wide gymnasium franchise. Working title Les Mills-érables.
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