Pete Stevenson

It is my ambition to one day become a professional smart-arse. I've woken up on a rooftop in Tokyo, lived the life of a street rat in Vegas, nearly died from embarrassment in a Parisian sex lair, worked for a Madman in Beijing, survived a blast in an underground mine and executed billion dollar trades on Wall St. Find out more in my recently released memoir 'Fortune Favours the Drunk', available at amazon.com/dp/B0GST8X5WM

@catsareblessing I want to be that cat

I was leaving the metro station, when I saw this stray cat snuggling a cuddly toy while trying to get some rest

Heaven on earth doesn't come much closer than a Sushi Train. In what ancient king's wildest dreams would he be surrounded by a moving conveyor of delicious food? Hot snacks delivered by robot at the push of a button.

@OrevaZSN Can we still drink the AI data centre piss-water? Just asking for a friend.

I still can't wrap my head around why AI data centers need fresh water. Not recycled, not wastewater. Fresh, drinkable water, burned through by the millions of gallons just to keep servers cool. Why are we using a basic human necessity to prop up machines?

@missmayn Hey, they worked hard all their life for that disease! If you cut back o coffees and avocado on toast, you too could live that dream.

boomers are like hey honey wanna go out to a restaurant and cough a lot.

@awkwardgoogle Those dogs making a 'dog-oreo' at the end there

I’ve watched this too many times! ❤️

@messedupfoods Fun Fact: These fish account for 110% of Aussie landfill

Lenders only mark-to-market property with a professional valuer every few years, which usually looks-through short term volatility. Shares are revalued by the market almost in real-time, so the measured volatility is much higher, leading to a technical assessment as 'riskier'. Individual stocks die but indexes, like land, are as solid as the legal system underpinning them.

You can’t call the bank and say: “I’d like to borrow $240,000 to invest in the S&P 500.” They’ll laugh at you. Ask for $240,000 to buy a rental property and they’ll hand it to you. The bank has been telling you which asset they trust more for 100 years.

@ClownWorld That boy got 'hamburglar' written all over his face

Dad ordered real food for the kids and then ordered McDonald’s for him… 😭😂

@PropositoyVida I now know what sheep heaven looks like, and I want in

El administrador de un edificio y los residentes se quedaron atónitos cuando la persona que había contratado para cortar el césped alrededor del edificio llegó con 100 ovejas en lugar de una desbrozadora eléctrica.

@yvessirae AI is begs so many questions re education. What skills are going to add the most value to society and individuals when machines are better at everything by default? We should probably put way more focus on creativity and health than rote learning.

kids are only using chat gpt bc they made school more about getting good grades than actually learning

@HSRdirector Ladders are a household item that intuitively seem so safe and simple, maybe because they are part of every playground everywhere, so we all massively underestimate the risk. Ladder awareness public-health spending would have massive ROI

I’ve witnessed a lot of harm done to my patients from various expected things like cigarettes, guns etc but I never imagined how much harm I would see in my adult patients from ladders. LADDERS. so much devastation

@DrWilliamBrady @HSRdirector Getting paid to take the risk (hopefully with a better sense of equilibrium)!

@HSRdirector What are these people you are hiring to do ladder work doing differently than the older homeowner?

@ick_real 'Nonchalant' is all over X like an STD

An overused word or phrase that needs to be retired in 2026

@KirstiMiller30 Yeah played it in the 90s as Red Rover or Bullrush

I grew up in Wagga Wagga where the kids growing up used to play a game called "Red Rover Cross Over". It was mainly a boys game where all the boys would gather in a group at the end of the playground with one boy standing in the middle of the playground. He'd yell "Red Rover Cross Over” and all the other kids had to run to the other end of the playground without being caught. The kid in the middle had to catch and hold one of them while yelling "caught 123" The kid caught would then join the kid in the middle for the next call of "Red Rover Cross Over" during which both kids in the middle would catch another kid who would stay in the middle and so on. The last kid caught would win the game and he'd be the one to stay in the middle for next round. It was good fun (my three daughters used to play it most afternoons with me) while giving the kids exercise and training for future rugby teams or other sports. Can anyone else recall playing the same game?

@BoringBiz_ Yes it is the highest EV play, but it truly is where dreams go to die

A lot of people dont like hearing this but the highest ROI move for the majority of people is to double down on their career path and make the next promotion at their job, rather than attempting to run a side hustle or business

3 different calendar days are simultaneously in use on Earth for ~2 hrs each day due to the mechanics of the International Date Line. Who would have thought living on a giant rotating ball could be so confusing.

@iky_fwjett Daamn, that dude living the Gold Digger song lyrics

My friend said she knew someone who needed a "bulldog" divorce attorney. Husband was trying to leave her high and dry with 3 kids for another woman. Now, it's rare that someone needs a bulldog for just child support in a divorce, so my radar is on. Anyway, took the case. OP says he'll pay our requested child support plus expenses after a quick mediation, he just wanted a DNA test on the kids. I ask my client if that's a problem and she says of course not. Y'all. The man is NO ONE'S father.

When the auto complete be predicting every word correctly, you may be an NPC

@catwithaura Cat too busy plotting murder to continue with the games

signal interrupted