Patrick

Middle-aged white ladies cover their homes with reminders to live, laugh, and love, but then wake up and choose violence.

This feels like it should be bigger news

Thought about going for a run because my phone said rain was still two hours away, but I looked out the window and deduced that it was definitely going to start in like five minutes:

Leaving the country to watch TV without drug commercials

Watching the #RHOBH recap every week because you can’t remember what happened, but then the recap reminds you that nothing happened

Whatever happened to men like this?

Did I accidentally make her MAGA with this tweet?

Happy Oscars to Aunt Gladys

Amazon needs to add an “actual brand” filter

So there’s this Taylor Swift ender…

If I were a macaque in Japan, I would simply be Punch’s friend

Kind of in a boomer mood (not entirely sure I grasp what substack is and too embarrassed to ask about it, so just frustrated)

still loved the music tho, charli

I suspected it would be bad, but it might be the worst movie I’ve seen. Emerald Fennell might as well have used the pages from Wuthering Heights as toilet paper

Mi gente Little Monsters

Aliens (completely bewildered): so the groundhog Me: is clairvoyant, yes

Billboard praises Lady Gaga’s #GRAMMYs performance: “Wearing an outfit that Delia Deetz would have approved of while situated behind two keyboards, prog-rock style, Lady Gaga rocked out ‘Abracadabra’ with Josh Freese on drums. Compared to the Gothic spectacle she brought to her tour, this performance was fairly minimalist, but no less riveting. With the camera pulled in tight on her face and her eyes blazing behind a caged headpiece, Gaga knows her angles and how to work them. Like Bowie before her, Gaga makes small movements feel monumental and offers up arty cinematic touches, such as having the camera pan down to the floor to show us not Gaga, but her reflection, singing the willfully weird dance-pop banger.”

I’m physically crafted to be / As fitting as McQueen

Mother, can you get me a ticket? @ladygaga

Why did upgrading my iOS clear out my accessibility settings? @Apple

Nothing but respect for MY president