Paul New

@BritishCycling @Shell_UKLtd You are absolutely taking the piss.

We can today announce @Shell_UKLtd as a new Official Partner for the next eight years, in a commitment to sharing world-class innovation, accelerating our path to net zero, and helping more and wider groups of people to ride.    Read more: bit.ly/3fV7pRY

@loadingreadyrun The Delia Derbyshire-esque intro music for The Panalysts makes me so happy and nostalgic, I can't even explain.

What proportion of pumpkins carved worldwide this Halloween will be of Drumpf? Correct colour, pumpkin guts as realistic hair, etc, etc

Ah, the calm, rational, erudite debates you get from London cabbies instagram.com/p/BaeDz5Gn55q/

Brexiteers are sounding increasingly like Marxists: the theory is perfect, it just hasn't been implemented properly...

The only thing more exhausting than going to IKEA is going back to IKEA because one of the boxes you picked up was the wrong box

Carl Sagan wrote this in 1996, and now I think he’s either a time traveler or a witch.

This headline is so precious. Like a puppy seeing snow for the very first time:

TIL that saying “six hundred and sixty six” in Welsh can cause serious larynx injuries for electoral returning officers.

Tory insiders now saying that they've lost every marginal constituency that Theresa May has visited #BBCelection

OH: “I hate the flight back to the UK. It’s full of air chavs.”

Wow, that’s very specific

And they say Shoreditch is getting less Shoreditchy: just seen a man wearing an air-pollution mask, pulled down so that he could smoke…

Every time I see a baby boomers vs. millennials tweet I wonder if they realize there's a whole generation in between who hates them both.

Boooooooooo instagram.com/p/BSKIvqJjbK7/

“Well, you see, that part of our game’s story is explained in the upcoming tie-in novel where thearrrghleblaaaarghht;suu&edvbijf!bmorpmorp…”

Sci-fi where the president has lost his mind and everyone knows because his private thoughts keep appearing on little slabs in their pockets

If you had discovered there was a massive multilayered conspiracy in the deepest levels of the government against you, would you go golfing?

Dear @GiantStPauls, I think this email subject line could have done with a grammar check before being sent 😳