Haley Miller

Dad: i don't know why you wear a bra-you've got nothing to put in it. MUM: you wear pants don't you? shorturl.xaijo.com/beth

Do hipster chicks wear sweatpants that say "DRY" on the butt? shorturl.xaijo.com/natasha

It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you bitly.xaijo.com/karen

It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you bitly.xaijo.com/kathleen

I bet when you go to hell they make you wear your hair like you did in 5th grade bitly.xaijo.com/haley

Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass. googl.adultgalls.com/graciela

googl.adultgalls.com/randall Do hipster chicks wear sweatpants that say "DRY" on the butt?

bitly.xaijo.com/marsha Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell.

bitly.xaijo.com/julio I won't help a customer with their problem until they've been completely dehumanized.

googl.adultgalls.com/blanche The only part I hate about not wearing pants is having to wipe snot on my bare legs.

What would I do? bitly.xaijo.com/robert

bitly.xaijo.com/neil Moving to Africa so I can feed my kids for 18 cents a day.

googl.adultgalls.com/patty I like to finish everyone's drinks at parties and then call them out for being drunks.

I like to measure my workouts in terms of a reward system. For instance: I just ran 2.5 pizzas. googl.adultgalls.com/serena

googl.adultgalls.com/dale These days its all about finding the woman you want to divorce after your kids go to college.

googl.adultgalls.com/aurelia Tired of being fat and pasty? Put tanning bed lights in your refrigerator.

googl.adultgalls.com/marilyn Just turned my welcome mat into an unwelcome mat by spray painting "CANCER" across it

googl.adultgalls.com/deborah my fitness goal is just to get down to the weight that i lied about on my drivers license

googl.adultgalls.com/queen The Seventh Sense: "I can smell dead people."

googl.adultgalls.com/delores How does my bladder always know when I've found the most comfortable position in my bed?