thechatroompub

"who drives the black truck?....... who drives the black truck that i just hit??"

you're ALL felicia!!

I thought, 'it looks like a badass would own that bag.' So i bought it.

I'm a mess, but you're a mess with a purpose.

A tranny read my palm once.

[Said with sadness] I'm a white girl...

If my boss is the reason for drinking, I should get a tax exemption for my troubles.

How do you say cheap fuck in spanish?

[Smart phone in hand] Damn, people better like my status here, bro!

If the banks are closed, my mouth is open.

He sent you a dick pic, and you're looking for his morals.

Wearing a twelve year-old boy on my dick is not a fashion statement!

blade runner is a mix of blade and runner.

"If you're a porn star, you HAVE to have health insurance...just saying."

"I've had my share of stick pussy in my day....stick-pussy means a dick."

I made eye contact during sex cause i wanted to try something new!

I'm so evolved that i don't have to run to work being chased by a bear!

"I'll take a little whiskey with a whole lot of corn syrup." - Fireball

...so I licked my friend's mom's dildo for $5. What? I got $5.

If he had a pussy, my life would be set.