alyssa

Every time I leave my house i come back to more star wars paraphernalia hanging on the walls in my living room.

@JackManifoldTV Alcoholism can make you do strange things

Guy who just said “EUGHH” cos he almost ate a tomato is literally about to eat brains

@MoistCr1TiKaL heard you liked bad movies let me introduce you to Freddy Got Fingered (2001). If you have already seen this absolute masterpiece then ignore this. Otherwise this is a formal request for you to watch.

I was watching a video while he was working on his car and the girl said “babe” and he says “yeah?”

Whenever i need a good cry i watch the last episodes of early 2000s shows

My boss is a *tw* disney adult that takes vacations to disney every 4 months

No i did not spend $10 on farmville at 3am shut up bitch

“Sometimes you just gotta drink a cappuccino and then turn up” Dj Khalid

When someone try to insult me but I hit em with the “bitch shut up you look mad easy to draw”

Need someone to tell me they’re coming over to my house every 3 weeks so that my adhd brain makes me clean everything

Me refreshing my exes mom’s facebook every couple years to see if he actually followed through with it or if it was just a threat

He gets all the birthday head he wants

I was made to be a wife

I don’t buy myself anything but nail stuff. Every once in a while I’ll buy a hoodie but thats it

Bro how tf do people just have normal twitter… i got stuck with that one streamer girl talking about sexualisation and getting destroyed literally

Watching food network at 3am to feel something

The voices in my head are funnier than anyone I’ve ever known

My scariest trait is that I don’t think anything matters in the world and I live by “you’re born with nothing and you leave with nothing” so nothing really matters that much