ant

All wings are boneless until I get ahold of them 😈

Joseph A Bank is a dogshit bank they lost all my money

Claude how do I monetize a drinking habit make no mistakes

A racist guy who refuses to eat hash browns

The lion does not concern himself with a dui. Nor should the Tiger

Sick of the government taking away honest jobs from Americans

@DraftDomestic That is fine. They are over priced and shitty carpenters

@peryourlast To specify I am declaring war on the carpenter ant

I AM DECLARING WAR ON ALL PESTS

We fuckin’ HATE termites by the way

Just ripped a fart so loud it echoed through the colony chambers and woke the queen up. They are hanging me tomorrow

Apparently “lemme eat your box” is not appropriate workplace banter

Mr. Pibb sexually assaulted me and gave me a Dr. Pepper not to speak out about it

Opening twitter is like peeking into the box of the world’s worst opinions that were never meant to see the light of day

Grok am I above .08 pls quick before the officer gets to the window

Day one of asking @tatemcrae to do my lobotomy me until she does it

Going on Joe Rogan tomorrow and I just know he’s gonna ask me about the ant cia

me: *drawing a picture of a cop* Victim: and he had a scar on his nose. Is that enough detail? Detective: *looking at my sketch* Thats not at all… Me: yeah i think i misunderstood my job title

I have OpenClaw set to automate my psych medications every day and the pill bottles still look full. It’s been a week

If you think olympians are impressive you should see me drink and drive

I posted “marrying your completely unfuckable coworker is always an option” on LinkedIn and now I have a meeting with hr on my calendar

Ants can watch movies too you fat bitch