Peter Latham

Check out my latest stand up routine youtube.com/watch?v=hnO7tH…

@LivoBTSP I feel I brought this upon myself

@LivoBTSP where the F am I in your photo collage?

@michelleorpe afraid not, it's the lovely Helen Skelton although it could easily be you

I was never very confident parking my car, until I found a notice on the windscreen saying 'parking fine', which was very reassuring

I was accused of possessing sentimental animated films. I owned Up

I'm fine in the company of horses I had a stable upbringing

Wife: I think you spend your life trying to be something you're not Husband: This vehicle is reversing

Chelsea fans disgracing the nation again. twitter.com/bbcsporf/statu…

Patient: Doctor doctor, I've been constipated for weeks... Doctor: Why should I believe you? You're full of shit

TONIGHT! Don't sit in on #NationalHugDay Come to The Bishop for hugs, laughs, food & drinks! #Free #Comedy #Kingston

I heard my mum and dad having sex last night, I wouldn't be too bothered but I live 3 streets away

I'd like a calendar for Christmas, I've wanted one for years. #ChristmasJumperDay

I'll help out whenever I can but not when someone's broken down, that's pushing it.

@realDonaldTrump you are a huge skid mark on the world and I feel the same about anyone who follows you. You are a danger to all.

My grandad was a tennis player. He served in the war.

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