petermcr

@footballfunnys Hilarious

ChatGPT has put together its ultimate XI for England... I couldn't agree more with this... 👌

@trad_west_ He'd be prosecuted in England

>American airman asleep on a train in France while on vacation with his childhood friends >Wakes up to the sound of screaming and breaking glass >Sees a terrorist step into the aisle carrying an AK-47 and 300 rounds of ammo >Doesn't look for an exit, doesn't hesitate >Sprints 30 feet down the aisle straight at the barrel of the gun, completely unarmed >The terrorist pulls the trigger; the rifle miraculously jams >Tackles him, gets slashed in the neck and hand with a box cutter, almost losing his thumb >Ignores the bleeding, chokes the attacker unconscious with his bare hands >Credits God for the jammed rifle and his survival >Saves everyone on board Patriot airman Spencer Stone is a hero.

@WilkieisBack66 Tiswas was your peak Henry. All downhill since then

Slave reparations! I’m all in! I’ve decided to personally gift £1 million Sterling to every single person my family ever enslaved. Please form an orderly queue and bring: • Ironclad documents proving my family personally enslaved you (bonus points if they include my great-great-grandpa’s signature and a Polaroid). • Your birth certificate proving you were born before Britain abolished slavery on 1 August 1834. • Proof you’re still alive (the gift can only be claimed in person, no ghosts, no estates, no “my ancestor told me so”). Oh, and while you’re at it, maybe swing by the local cemetery with a shovel. I’m sure those poor souls buried since the 1800s would appreciate being dug up for their cheque. They’ve waited long enough, right? Look, if we’re doing “reparations” for historical slavery, let’s do it properly: only to the actual victims. Not their great-great-great-grandchildren who were born free in the 20th or 21st century, sipping oat milk lattes while tweeting about “trauma.” This isn’t justice, it’s a cosmic-level grift. It’s like demanding the Roman Empire pay for the roads they built because some distant ancestor got conquered by Caesar. Or billing modern Italians for every Gaul who got turned into a slave 2,000 years ago. Newsflash: No living person in Britain today was a slave under British law, and no living person in Britain today owned slaves under British law. The people who suffered are dead. The people who profited are dead. Their descendants, Black, White, Asian, mixed, whatever had zero say in it. Chasing “reparations” from random taxpayers (including the descendants of abolitionists, coal miners, and people who arrived after 1834) isn’t healing historical wounds. It’s creating new ones while opening the most hilarious Pandora’s box in human history: • Should Ireland demand reparations from Britain for the Potato Famine? • Should Britain demand reparations from Denmark for the Viking slave raids? • Should Italians bill Mongols for the sack of Baghdad? • Should every African nation start invoicing each other for the centuries of tribal warfare and slave-trading that predated (and supplied) the transatlantic trade? Where does the grievance chain end? 1066? The Bronze Age? Lucy the Australopithecus getting stiffed on her cave rent? Slavery was a universal human horror, practised by every civilisation from the Egyptians to the Aztecs to the Arabs to the Africans themselves (who sold millions into the trade). Britain didn’t invent it. Britain ended it, at massive cost, with the Royal Navy spending decades hunting slave ships while other empires kept right on going. Demanding cash from people who never owned slaves, to give to people who were never slaves, isn’t “reparations.” It’s retroactive time-travel cosplay with other people’s money. It’s the ultimate participation trophy for historical victimhood: “My ancestor suffered, therefore I deserve a payout… even though I live in a free society with more opportunity than 99.9% of humans who ever lived.” If you want actual justice, how about this radical idea: Stop obsessing over who owes whom from 200 years ago, and start judging people by what they do today. Work hard. Build. Create. Don’t inherit grievances like their family heirlooms. The desire for slavery reparations isn’t righteous anger. It’s lazy, entitled, historically illiterate greed dressed up as moral superiority, demanding a lottery win for a suffering you never endured, from people who never caused it. My £1 million offer stands. Just bring the paperwork. And a time machine. #Reparations #Slavery Oh, and fcuk you Lenny Henry.

@GBNEWS Theyre not bungling Start telling the truth

Vital grooming gangs evidence may have been DESTROYED thanks to bungling civil servants gbnews.com/news/grooming-…

@henrywinter Id rather watch Dzeko at 40

Devastating for Wales. They gave everything. Pens the cruellest way to miss out. World Cup will be the poorer without Craig Bellamy, Wales and their travelling choirs. Credit to Bosnia & Herzegovina, resilient and then ruthless.

@TheMatchdayHQ @TEAMtalk Noooooooooooooooooooooooo

🚨🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 | 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆: Manchester City are PLOTTING a move to sign Arsenal defender Ben White this summer. [@TEAMtalk]

@FabrizioRomano Yep Translation They have the referees they have the var they have the thugs they have the bellends. Absolutely RM is always RM

🚨 Rodri on Man City eliminated by Real Madrid: “It doesn’t matter if they arrive to the match in a good or bad moment for them… …Real Madrid is always Real Madrid”, told Onda Cero.

@WilloMCI What is weird is he wants to be part of a squad that really does cheat and is full of absolute bellends and thugs. Strange

That interview hasn’t just rubbed me the wrong way… it’s genuinely changed how I look at Rodri. He’s always been one of those players you respect because he speaks straight. No media training nonsense, no hiding. But there’s a difference between being honest and being careless... especially when you’re not just any player, but a leader at Manchester City. And that’s where this crosses the line for me. Saying you’d like to return to Spain? Fine. Saying you still follow La Liga? No issue. But openly entertaining Real Madrid, leaving the door wide open, talking about how “you can’t refuse the biggest clubs in the world”… while you’re still here, still representing this badge... it’s unnecessary. Completely unnecessary. You know exactly how that gets picked up. You know exactly how it’s going to be framed. And you’ve handed it to them anyway. That’s what annoys me. This isn’t even about him potentially leaving. Football doesn’t work like that anymore. Players move, cycles end, we rebuild. If Rodri wants a new chapter one day, no one’s stopping him. Manchester City will move on like we always do. There’ll be another player ready to step in, whether that’s someone already here or someone we bring in. That’s how this club operates. But it’s the way he’s gone about it. Because let’s not forget... we backed him through everything. When he hit that level, when he became the best in the world in his position, when he picked up the Ballon d’Or... that wasn’t just his moment, that was ours as well. That was Manchester City. The system, the team, the fans… all of it. And now, in the same breath, he’s bigging up Madrid, talking about the Bernabeu like it’s some untouchable stage, saying they’re always Real Madrid no matter what. Where was that energy before? Because the reality is, they didn’t build him into this player. They didn’t put him on that pedestal. They weren’t the ones going to war for him week in, week out. But now suddenly, there is this open door he’s happy to publicly acknowledge? No one’s denying his quality. He’s elite. One of the best midfielders in the world, full stop. But no player is bigger than the club, and no player is irreplaceable... not even Rodri. What’s changed isn’t my appreciation for what he’s done. That stays. It’s how I see him now. Because this didn’t need to play out like this. You can handle your future quietly. You can respect the club you’re still at while keeping your options open. If he goes, he goes. No bitterness in that sense. Appreciation for what he gave us. But the way he’s handled this? Yeah… that sticks. And I will never look at him in the same way again. Pure dissapointment.

@PeterEgan6 @rickygervais @fifa @iawpcoalition Fifa could stop this horrific practice in five seconds but aren't. Why? Money money money

⁦@rickygervais⁩ pls share these sounds & distressing images I ask myself how can anyone be so heartless & so cruel this is happening as @FIFA inspects sites in Morocco for the World Cup! if u think it’s not right take a moment & let sgoffice@fifa.org support @iawpcoalition

@radhoo12 1

Okay, let’s have some fun. Team 1 vs Team 2. Who wins?

@AFCAMDEN Knob

Rumours starting to build that Manchester City will be getting a points deduction pretty soon.

@BasilTheGreat Shoot him

A video has gone viral showing an African Migrant FIGHTING with the Kings Guard at the Royal Palace in Oslo, Norway How do we solve this problem?

@Vic200tor Click

City celebrating like they just won the UCL, embarrassing club man

@slbsn Blatant red

Still think this much closer to red than was made out. This is the initial foul.

@FabrizioRomano @faznet Why doesn't the clown just say I'm a thug. Shouldn't be in football Hes like a shit Vinny Jones

🚨 Antonio Rüdiger: “If you want to be a 1v1 specialist at this level, you can’t be a nice companion. You have to make the striker feel that today will be unpleasant for him”. “Being a tough defender is part of my DNA”, told @faznet.

@_AlfieAFC Look like typical Arsenal fans to me

I’m all for improving the atmosphere but this whole thinking your ‘ultras’ has got to stop, never have I cringed and been so embarrassed at seeing a video in all of my life, you genuinely wouldn’t put this video for being out of place at a Women’s football match or the MLS🤢

@TheBlueDodger Neville is a prick Stealing a living for years

Gary Neville calling Cherki arrogant for a few kick-ups lol. We need more entertainers like Cherki tbh. Football has become so sterilized now.

@henrywinter Come on City

Declan Rice consoled by Thomas Tuchel as he went up to collect his loser’s medal. Rice was the picture of frustration. Missed opportunity by Arsenal. They froze. Big names didn’t deliver. So many good players but just didn’t go for it. Inhibited almost. Failed to react tactically or with any real energy or defiance when City took control of midfield. Arsenal must use that frustration as fuel to drive them to the trophy that matters most - the title. Head off on international break (initially a break for Rice), refresh, regroup and attack the rest of the season. So much talent. So much still to play for. Have to stay strong and go again. #AFC

@MrDtAFC All right my luv

I'm looking forward to the final against Man City. Let's just hope that Pep don't get scared again and set up in a low block with Haaland playing centre back.