Pete Everett

Dunaway, Wray, Wheldon, Ripley... Ignore me - it's just Fays I'm going through #pun

@CountMoriarty Anxiety, depression, depersonalization, psychopathy, schizophrenia, amnesia or just waving your hands and saying “I’m a bit crazy!”

Just imagining people going "fucking mental". What would it entail I wonder?

@BrianJe15017880 @parker__farquer What a hunk!

@parker__farquer @peveret He's got swivel eyes on a stick and a machine that punches your ticket and a moustache that makes him look like he's following you around the room and he follows you around the room and his name's Tom Selleck.

They've said I can go up to the moon next I'm allowed to get a space gun and some rusks and some mucky books I've got to choose me crew I'm going to take @peveret and @parker__farquer and Charlie because he's going to keep us calm fuckin ell!

@BridgeBooksDro1 Stereogram. It’s a beautiful piece of furniture but hifi it ain’t. I have many happy memories of playing my punk singles sitting between the speakers for the full effect. Happy days.

Should I keep this, or should I sell it?

@jasemonkey @marcrileydj I was just about to say that.

@marcrileydj Well it's F,Bb,E,A,C#,G - so probably an A7 and he's stuck his thumb over but if you want to include those bottom two notes it would be FMaj9/11#5 - one for the jazzers.

Oi! @jasemonkey ! What chord is Marc Bolan holding here!?!?

@LuvlyAlpacino Lawks-O-Lordie! I’m a cockerney geezer from the Old Smoke born within the sound of Bow Bells and no mistake, innit.

I LAUGH EVERY SINGLE TIME i cant

This Day in 2013, the Evil Thatcher finally popped her clogs. This comment, I think, reflected the views of most people.

@BrianJe15017880 @parker__farquer @elqpalmer I use the smaller AAA maps.

@peveret @parker__farquer And @elqpalmer is going to be in charge of the navigation but they've go tto use old AA maps

@jasemonkey Thanks for the translation. My mind went somewhere else.

It seems like a good day to remind people of Finland's 1982 Eurovision entry which I believe translates as 'Don't Drop a Neutron Bomb On Me'

@cooltechtipz Walk-bike wankers

The electric bike that lets you walk instead of pedal.

I give you the golden age of UK telly. There were quite a few blokes like this around when @StephenMoss_TV and I joined the BBC in 1982. And some similar women too to be fair. I well remember the truly formidable Biddy Baxter yelling on network talkback when I worked the live Look North gallery in Newcastle. God help you if you snipped ten seconds off the end of her Blue Peter!

@dank_ackroyd He is risen

Don’t recall the crucifixion being this lighthearted

@mirthincarnate Nailed it

Every year around Easter I get this weird wound in the middle of my hand and nobody can tell me what it is

@parker__farquer Wot makes them differenter?

I have just discovered that of all the kiwi fruits, the ones which are red inside are my favourites. Thank you for reading.

He is risen.

@BrianJe15017880 He is risen.

Just eaten three easter eggs in one go and sicked it all up and now I'm watching Easter Duck Racing and Les Dennis new gameshow 'Where's Brian Jenkins?'

@BrianJe15017880 I’ve got a job lot of fish nipples so I’ll chuck a jar of them. You can pay it forward.

@peveret Can I have those then Peter? I can't choose so I'm having them all.

What can you have?

@Cassicopium_ That’s the measure of him.

My boyfriend bought 12 beakers for us to use as cups?

this is the worst karaoke bar i’ve ever been to