Peyton

I literally have to just ban my gullible ass from twitter every April fools day bc I’ll realize a tweet is a joke and then immediately forget and get fooled again by another exactly 1 minute later it’s BAAADDD 😭

sorry for how i acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time

anyone else ever leave the office in the evening and then show up first thing the next morning and it feels like you never left and you’re just like oh so this is my life my entire existence is in this building with these people and it’s fine but also sorta fucking debilitating

My problem with the “he wouldn't actually do it” and “institutional checks will step in to stop him” arguments regarding Greenland is that we are in this position precisely because, at every prior stage, he did do it and institutional checks failed to constrain this lunatic.

I am tired of having to download an app, create an account, confirm my email, set up a password that has at least 1 letter and 1 special character, enter the code sent to my email, for every single thing on God’s green earth, FUCK EVERY SINGLE COMPANY, AND YOUR STUPID CRAP!!!!!!!

Tbh I think it’s sooo weird when ppl seek out and use content creators’ real names (rather than profile/channel name) when commenting on their videos. Feels a little too parasocial for my liking

I would gladly pay more in taxes to never have to deal with insurance ever again.

There’s genuinely nothing I hate more than being sold to. I hate ads. I hate salespeople. I hate not being able to walk down the street or use my phone or watch tv without being told to buy something.

“If I never stop talking, there won’t be an awkward silence that he’ll try to turn into his confession of attraction to me”

Am I just a lesbian or does every interaction with men these days feel like playing this game?

I’m so libbed out I had to boot up Spider-Man 2 just to spend some time in New York

Can someone tell my coworkers that you can’t assign an EOD task at 4:15pm and also say “no rush”??? Talk about oxyMORON 🙄

Just reconceptualised my lack of direction in life as freedom

ever since I was a little girl I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

In the same way that straight men believe they could land a plane with no prior training or experience, I believe that I could make a venti iced oat milk matcha latte with lavender without ever working at a coffee shop I’d simply let my genderqueer lesbian genes take the wheel

Dave Matthews Band has the opportunity to do the funniest thing right now