Phillip Kirkland

Met the girl downstairs tonight banging pots out the window for healthcare workers. Told her to hold out her wine glass. Bystanders saw.

@EvanSowards One of one. 🫶🏼

Four years today since I lost the best dog ever. Man do I miss this guy so much. Love you Titus❤️

@Lovewasher Damn bro you really got it like that? 😂

Please don’t ask if we can move an entire production to fit your schedule unless you are Martin Scorsese 😂

@Lovewasher 👊🏽👊🏽

Just got retainer. Gonna cry. Lesgooooo.

@Lovewasher They don’t play.

How come no one told me about Pasture PDX. Maybe the best sandwich I’ve had in Portland for years

@cacioepatrizio I need that menu in my life. 🙏🏽

@cacioepatrizio Very flexible! 5:30-8:30 good by me.

V Day specials gonna be ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

@DoorDash Tbh, I asked for my add-on sauce to be bleu cheese, but ya’ll gave me something way more funky…

The DoorDash cart is missing something - what is it? Wrong answers only. #DoorDashAllTheAds

@shannon0H It’s time!!

@philsince87 🥂✨

Everyone yelling about aliens. Happy holidays. 👽🛸

@OvumWines yoo this is a hit!!

That “cougar” spotted at Cook Park in Tigard yesterday? Turns out it was a house cat. This happens more than you think.

@orenmeetsworld Say less.

The danger of having an audience is always thinking to yourself “Yea of course I could sell 250 Damascus steel steak knife sets”

It’s almost facts that if a dude is playing pool drinking a White Russian at a dive bar you should just avoid that at all costs.

This me going to the kitchen at 3 am trying to be quiet.

Losing another barber I love to a career glow up. It’s hard not to be bitter, but I’m happy for him. 🥺

NOT GREAT.

“We got our butts slaughtered at Oregon” 😂

Dog gets a bath and his teeth brushed in the same night and I’m all of a sudden the worst person in the world. 🙄