justin 🦁

there is joy to be found

i don't need to collapse uncertainty, i don't need to dig, scraping and bleeding, for a resolution, i don't need the answer now, everything will come with time

i forgive myself for not understanding Now

i would never disrespect my beautiful and smart friends by hating myself

i didn’t even procrastinate efficiently today

how would you like me to have your back? i promise that’s what im trying to do

@lapislagoons role of interlocutor as falling on the sword of judgement to soothe & help the affected party work their way back to grace?

@pipuffin it also feels validating to hear it though, I will admit

I am who I am because when I tell people about my dad and they tell me how much he sucks I still love him so deeply and Understand

@selflathing @babarganesh hahahah i don’t particularly care one way or another, but i am interested in usefulmaxxing the language i use to describe my conditions

@selflathing @babarganesh true, but the brain is part of your nervous system, which is at least an estuary over that line?

i feel like there's a general sense of "activation"/"agitation" that is so bodily and formless that nervous system feels like a ~reasonable descriptive backing. it is the system of all your felt sensation. i guess you could say the finger pointing at the moon is not the moon but in this case it's maybe harder to disentangle

my nervous system finally settled

i'm trying to let the child through. unfortunately he's a child.

oh troubled boy, just drop the weight let fire sing its song of fate my broken child, it’s getting late to end in sleep, breathe closed the gate

i was having a good relationship with god for a while and now it’s feeling worse

well, sure hope i did ok. no changing it now.

i'm just thinking too much full stop. my brain is fucking alight right now and i don't have anywhere to channel it. work is uninspiring, im losing my edge. i think therapy is partially to blame for this. i cant avoid getting into this fuck ass mode. out is through?

i gotta tend to my window of tolerance

cocaine is a BAD, EVIL drug except for those 15 minutes of pure gold

you know you can only be yourself