daniel plen

Todays fun fact: eThekwini means "the one-testicled one." No jokes. #googlethatshit

When I?m bored late at night, I text random numbers saying: ?You should really clean under your bed, it?s filthy down here. PS: I love you."

@JRsBBQ @BleacherRepor wh yxlmk lmh🏫

Why should you believe The Bible? Because it says so in The Bible. Now please don't ask again.

well i NAILED the biggie verse from "notorious thugs" so how do you THINK the job interview went, mom

You know your maid does nothing all day when she starts redecorating the house

Out of chips and salsa? Egg shells and ketchup make a great last-minute gameday snack substitute! #NFL #CollegeFootball

If SAPS got as much pleasure capturing criminals as they do catching kids with a gram of weed,children would probably stil build tree houses

Fun prank: replace sugar packets at restaurants with cocaine

@EliBraden lemonAIDS

Whoever found my cap that I left in the taxi last night. WEAR THAT THING WITH FUCKING PRIDE!

It's all about the Benjamin's

my favorite study method is crying

How did Dexter's parents NOT know about his secret Lab? That electric bill had to be higher than Wiz Khalifa!

A restaurant in Tokyo lets you have sex with a live animal, then it's killed, cooked, and served to you and your guest.