ptolemy slocum

maybe sometimes, when “the magic is gone…” it was really an illusion that we miss… but the thing is we DO miss it - that part is real - even a lie can be lovable, when your heart is wider for the outside then the thing that is you…

the oscars almost feel like a reminder of another time now - when life was different and different things mattered a lot… and it’s mixed with this other feeling that maybe it should have mattered less then it did back then…

this is all hell swallowing back what we took from hell

the way is on the way in the meantime become it

just realized - the fact that i live in LA and didn’t open twitter once yesterday says a lot about what happened to this site…

@MatthewACherry 🥲 this reference hits deep …

This is for all my Sim Ant game lovers on PC back in the day.

There's a new game called Empire Of The Ants that just came and it's a pretty amazing strategy game. You're basically an ant general. Very similar.

be careful of burning the 🕯️ candle instead of being the light…

@BrianStack153 @YouTube wow

“I was riding on my Mother’s hip, She was shorter than the corn, And all the years I took from her, Just by being born” youtu.be/XlKz4Y5mVVA?si… via @YouTube

Hey Twitter, if I got Beauty and the Beast'd into some furniture which cursed furniture would I turn into?

@BrianStack153 @velodus he is a national treasure - but also i wonder if people understand how much YOU have been a national treasure… quietly, all these years…

@velodus A little “behind the scenes” look at the Pierre Recliner bit for anyone interested. youtu.be/i2fThw5zIus?si…

One of my favorite old Conan bits was when they'd let their show's graphic designer come out in a recliner and awkwardly rant about something extremely nerdy for two straight minutes.

@MadisonHimes the singular of “glove” makes this work so good…

Y’all think Michael Jackson and OJ are in hell trading glove ?

@Armyvet74 @claimguy1 @MarkHamill hahah - that is def a better typo - shitting IN someone is superior insult - why the bird? we may never know - but hey good luck with your Trump love... sure it will go great! and sorry you dont understand what a defamation trial is...

@ptolemy @claimguy1 @MarkHamill Isn't that precious. You thought I cared about your feelings? Well let me disabuse you of that notion right now. If I was a bird, I would shit in you.

She is livid she can't attempt to prove her client's innocence in a trial exclusively about punitive damages. Hell hath no fury like a highly incompetent lawyer scorned. 🤬

@Armyvet74 @claimguy1 @MarkHamill oh! typo brings out the sweet side... i must have been WAY off about this guy - looks like he is a true independent thinker and not wrapped up in a make-me-feel-less-small-as-a person cult at all...

@ptolemy @claimguy1 @MarkHamill Gee because it's unfathomable that I meant to type in he right? So did your parents give up having kids after you because you were such a disappointment or did they keep trying hoping that next time they would get a winner?

@Armyvet74 @claimguy1 @MarkHamill guys have compassion with this man - he literally feels like he is on the team... hes feels like part of it - he will not be able to hear either logic or truth... its kind of heartbreaking "evidence we had been trying to bring in" 😢

The evidence we had been trying to bring in was evidence that would impeach her and refute her claims that he caused the threats against her that she was seeking damages for. And the judge wouldn't allow it. That is the judge not allowing his defense team to actually defend him. That is a direct violation of his constitutional rights.

younger daughter : …this movie is about betrayal

later, through tears: Daughter : British people are so sad… 😭

first time watching Love Actually: Daughter: hey, that one looks weird too! Me: sweetie, they’re just British

@JL_Chapman oh dude you gotta go through with a second layer of “Just checkin in”

If you want a good laugh go and read through the comments!

@NextGenStats this tweet aged well...

Deebo Samuel had a 0.1% chance of scoring when he caught the ball on his 48-yard TD. 🔹 Yards After Catch: 43 🔹 Expected YAC: 2 🔹 YAC Over Expected: +41 Samuel has gained a league-high +909 YACOE since entering the NFL in 2019. #SFvsPHI | #FTTB

@SaraGhaleb the only near-guaranteed solution is the buzz cut…