Jillian

386 posts

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Jillian

Jillian

@punsin10ded

Journalist at SiGMA World, amateur parent, peaceful gamer, laugher.

Scottish in Malta Katılım Şubat 2009
594 Takip Edilen140 Takipçiler
Jillian
Jillian@punsin10ded·
2/2 what if he's fine and now you've broken his concentration causing you to have to engage, but just as you're halfway down the corridor, you hear the sound of hot wheels on floor tiles and you quietly turn around and return to staring into space in the kitchen.
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Jillian
Jillian@punsin10ded·
1/2 When your 3-year-old is playing quietly by himself in the other room but it's been 6 whole minutes without hearing a sound so you start to get worried, but then, for a split second, you hesitate before checking on him because
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Jillian
Jillian@punsin10ded·
My 3-year-old calls a parasol a 'sunbrella' and he's right.
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Jillian
Jillian@punsin10ded·
Them: Just you seem like a chill mum, I'm surprised you don't want any more kids. Me: I am one embryo away from a complete, irrevocable fucking breakdown.
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Paul Franzen
Paul Franzen@PaulMFranzen·
it's simply too powerful
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Jillian
Jillian@punsin10ded·
Restaurant concept: The food from the kids' menu comes out pre-cooled so that my liability labrador child doesn't repeatedly give himself 3rd degree burns while screaming at you like you can control temperature with your mind.
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Jillian
Jillian@punsin10ded·
My best playlists are almost exclusively shazzamed from Libyan taxi drivers 👌🎶🚕
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Jillian
Jillian@punsin10ded·
My son calls Luigi "The Weegie" which makes Mario Kart sound like a T in the Park campsite circa 2001. "Mummy, why has the weegie got a mushroom?" "The weegie keeps crashing into the bushes" "I don't want to play with the weegie anymore, too annoying and slow."
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Jillian retweetledi
Aiko
Aiko@aikohwrites·
You know what sucks? Writing. You know what I love? Writing. You know what I wanna do? Write. You know what I don't wanna do? Write.
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Jillian
Jillian@punsin10ded·
When 3-year-olds drill their questions down so far you're suddenly in quantum physics before breakfast: What's a thumb made of? What's skin? What's inside blood? What's a cell? What's a mitochondria? What are atoms? What is the universe? What is why?
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Jillian
Jillian@punsin10ded·
Realising #Gorbachev was alive until right now and didn't in fact die ages ago in 2008 or something.
Jillian tweet media
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Jillian
Jillian@punsin10ded·
Reading my 3-year-old 'Giraffe Goes the Doctor' and he said "Can we read a different book? There are too many pictures of giraffes and it's making me stressed." Oh, dear child, you have no idea.
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Jillian
Jillian@punsin10ded·
When I was a kid, my dad used to tell me to stop getting so "Leeds United" whenever I would have a hyper half hour. I didn't know 'Legionited' wasn't a word until I was about 25.
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Jillian
Jillian@punsin10ded·
@netflix docuseries #DBCooperWhereAreYou is the biggest cringe ever. Had to turn it off 10 mins in to 2nd episode, right after they asked RR why he was hiding in a storage bin. I'd hide in a garbage bin to get away from those sensationalist amateurs.
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Jillian
Jillian@punsin10ded·
@PaulMFranzen She called it an 'extension pack' which implies that I already own the basic fart pack. How many fart packs are too many?
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Jillian
Jillian@punsin10ded·
My kid just asked #Alexa to "play a dinosaur fart" and she genuinely said "Dinosaur farts are part of the Extreme Fart Pack that includes Dragon farts and more. Would you like to buy it?"
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