Quela 🤭

lmao.

Got paid yesterday. Paid my bills and outstanding debts. Broke again within an hour. Amazing! Adulting is just amazing!

and if i saw an alien i wouldn’t even give af honestly i got too much going on fr

Tomorrow is May 1st. Lord, grab my hand and guide me through this month.

Y’all them keyboarding classes we took in school really paid off 😭😭😭😭 I be typing my ass off til this day , eyes closed and all 😂😂

@HolmesCharle @imfynerthanfyne some of us have and still think you should not be showering like you’re in boot camp AFTER boot camp 🥴

@imfynerthanfyne None of you have been in the military

blocked.

If you smoke weed but still wake up everyday and get shit done nobody should be able to say anything to you and you’re entitled to a happy life 🙌

at the end of the day it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally

ADHD is so weird why am i procrastinating smoking the weed I want to smoke..

@ricardmargalef just DM’d you!

I’m desperately looking to Get Rid of my VIP tickets for Sick New World @ Las Vegas Festival Grounds today. Asking below face value $55 each, Dm if interested. You pick them up at will call.

@DronkOffKei @dontplay_z right or drugs cause it’s gonna make it happen a lot faster and easier

@dontplay_z No you have to self reflect and realize the type of relationship you qualify for and let seasons be seasons vs turning a season into a lifetime Also believe ppl when they show you who they are the first time ..

Having sex is not gone heal no heartbreak.DRUGS …. You gotta do drugs baby

No one warned me that once I got older, the Gmail/weather app would be a crucial part of my daily routine. 😭

@iQuran_Daily @estradiologist that’s because these niggas ain’t using a script to fall for anymore .. it’s all improv 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@estradiologist Lmao the way you said 'yep that was me' and completely broke the scammer😭. I can just picture him trying to stay professional while losing it on the other end. These calls are getting wilder by the day, people are no longer falling for the script.

got a scam call where the guy asked if I had recently bought ~3k worth of amazon gift cards and I said "yep that was me" so fast he started laughing 😭 he couldn't get through the rest of the prompt without laughing more

Raise your hand if you still call Twitter today! 🙋🏾‍♂️

@notcee_fan It's crazy, over 3 years and it's still Twitter

Twitter brand is so strong it was renamed and it’s still Twitter.

i’m always the bad guy lmao every narrative

lmaooooo

damn do i miss my brother

An elderly man accidentally rear-ended a brand-new sports car. The young driver jumped out, furious. “LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY CAR! You owe me $10,000 right now, or I’m going to beat you half to death!” The old man looked shaken. “Oh my goodness,” he said. “I don’t have that kind of money. Let me call my son — he trains dolphins. He’ll know what to do.” “DOLPHINS?” the guy scoffed, rolling his eyes. The old man dialed his phone. Before he could say a word, the angry driver grabbed it. “So you’re a dolphin trainer, huh?” he barked into the phone. “Well your old man just wrecked my car. I need ten grand RIGHT NOW — or I’m going to beat BOTH of you to a pulp!” A calm voice replied, “I’ll be there in ten minutes.” Exactly ten minutes later… ...a Jeep screeched to a stop. A man stepped out, walked straight up to the bully, and absolutely flattened him, leaving him groaning on the pavement. Then the man turned to his father and said, “Dad… for the LAST time. I train seals. Navy seals. Not dolphins.”