quipsfromjules

*Jules swings spoon* Jules: Hit! Hit! Me: Jules don’t hit. Your sister looks up to you. Jules: Well I’m just pretending. I can’t hit her for real because my arm isn’t long. See? I won’t hit her. I wish I could hit her, but I can’t. Me: Just cut it out.

Me: Is your sister your best friend? Jules: No. She’s my pretend husband and I’m her pretend wife.

*pokes her Dad with a tall stack of duplos* This is my eating machine. It eats people that are OOOLLLDDD! yum yum yum!

Jules: I think Sammy (boy in her preschool class) should get Pfizer like Daddy. Me: And which shot should Jules get? Jules: Moderna!

*typing on a computer she made out of blocks* Poop yourself home! When I say poop yourself home, I mean POOP yourself home!

*Jules riding in the back of the double stroller* “Get. Me. Out of here!!!! This is so embarrassing. This stroller is EMBARRASSING!!!”

Mommy, when you cut my apple it sounds like you’re trying to poop.

*singing* Daddy and Ellie are the best. Mommy’s the ruiner.

Jules: I want a brother! Me: Ok, Jules, I’ll put it on your wish list. Jules: Brothers don’t go on wish lists. They come on tricycles!

It hurts to have patience!

Jules: Ellie is a bug, Katie. Jake: Ok Bart Simpson- don’t call your mom Katie. Jules: But I’m tired of calling her Mom! Me: Why don’t you want to call me Mom? Jules: It’s boring! I want to call you Katie like Daddy does. Me: So Daddy isn’t boring? Jules: Yep and Mom is BORING!

Jake: Both of my daughters have peed on me in the last 10 days. Me: Sounds like fatherhood Jules: When I don't listen to you--that sounds like motherhood.

Jules: What are you doing? Me: I’m looking for gifts for my mommy for Mother’s Day. Jules: Well what are you getting me for Kids Day? You better get me something good!