Qui Roy

The only reason I sometimes get perceived as a woman is cause of hair, I really hate how important gendered presentation is, in a better world I'd present as some kind of bald skater boy. Also cameras are extremely evil

back in Russia in 2017 when we still called ourselves transsexuals, it was hard to find a trans girl without a legitimately passing voice, and those rare ones would often get surgery on their vocal cords. voice training mostly requires motivation and determination, and both come naturally when the alternative is to get in, uh, a big trouble the moment you open your mouth. of course it is much harder today, in the west, when you are surrounded by supportive friends (often trans people as well), and the worst thing that can happen is you get misgendered and feel awkward&dysphoric about it. i don't think i would've voice trained if i started my transition here in the Netherlands. (i know violence can happen anywhere. i'm talking about an average scenario, not downplaying anything). now, what is a "passing" voice? is it a girl voice? no, if you are a girl and you speak, your voice is a girl voice by definition, regardless of its pitch and other characteristics. a "passing" voice is a voice that is close to what an _average_ cis woman sounds like. is this what you want? is this what you really really need to be happy with yourself? then you'll find some motivation and get it done. you don't have to be a teen or intersex or anything like that. there's courses, there's coaches, this stuff really works. please try. have you not been doing anything to make that happen in years, yet keep thinking you "should finally voice train" whenever u end up in those rare awkward situations in public? well then maybe you don't really need it. remember how you transitioned because it was either that or death? that's dedication! you won't get this kind of motivation if you are mostly happy and comfortable with your life except when that one cashier he/hims you all of a sudden after you speak. cause that's the cashier setting the bar, not you. i honestly have no idea what i was trying to say here, i don't have a point. maybe try reflect more on these feelings and figure out the line between you trying to be yourself and you trying to meet that cashier's expectations. maybe understanding that better would free you from some stress and anxiety, and it'd be easier for you to voice train? maybe you'd find motivation through reframing this as a-much healthier-own internal need? or maybe you'd accept that you actually don't care? whatever it is, good luck and dont forget to love & be proud of yourself

two years of hrt later and I think I'm doing pretty dang good