rachel

idk drake is corny and , as usual , i don't hate it

Male coworker just called me flexible for sitting cross legged (non sexually) and … how are men so non flexible? Is this not basic stuff

Told my mom I was entertaining the idea that maybe I’d wanna have kids and she said— your last relationship you threw away after 5 years. You can’t throw away a kid.

does anyone know Richard Linklater? I have an idea for him... I don't need any credit, I just want it to happen

every time I open ig I see jack Harlow in a dif hat.. I know that's partially my fault bc of the algorithm but also why does he have so many of those dumbass hats

it really is the case that every time I try to put on my fitted sheet the wrong way I think of how my ex would make the bed because it is my least favorite household activity ... anyway this is pathetic because we've been broken up for a long time

saw this headline, though It was funny. sent a screenshot to my aunt. flipped through the list of 100 best restaurants in nyc. went back to nyt homepage. they changed the headline. what an embarassing publication for many, many reasons (not like it matters what I think)

this went platinum in my household

UFC fans make other sports fans look … well, you know what. Let me be more straightforward. UFC fans scare me.

Me to me

Guys with MBAs or no college degree think the stripper loves them Guys w liberal arts degrees and dudes who work in tech think the server loves them

@xlorentzen lol I am always tweeting into the ether and sometimes when you respond I’m like how did anyone even get to reading this? Anyway, maybe YOU should be the one to write it. As a gift. Thank you!

@rachtsuna We all have hopes and dreams. I hope your wish comes true!

I hope this summer, when I’m in Europe, there is a Caroline Calloway - like piece that gets published like there was in 2019 when I was in Barcelona. Reading that on the bunk bed of the hostel I was in and texting about it and all that was very fun for me, personally.

DIESEL (2026)

@xlorentzen Well, you just got 4 hours of your life back

If the Celtics win I'm watching 'The Town' tomorrow.

Sex

I’ve got to be honest I don’t know how many times I can hear the word psychopharmacologist

Letting my phone die @ slow day @ Work (aka rn) so I don’t download hinge out of boredom #brave

Everyone’s a vaper until they see a full box of capris.