Gary Rawson

@its_The_Dr Well I found you didn’t I? Now I know what to avoid. Thank you for that.

How would you Respond?

@Sara_Varnholt My buddy fixed me up with his girlfriend’s best friend. I took her to dinner and after the meal she lit one up. We got back in my car and I took her home, kissed her on the cheek, and said good night. She made her choice and then I made mine.

Men be honest: road trip date, I light a cigarette but roll the window down… is that okay?

@RC_Cola12345 @honeymoon250 True. But usually with these brain teasers the simplest answer is not the right one.

@ragynoswar @honeymoon250 😦????????? Dude! What? Sometimes the simplest answer is the right one.

Almost no one gets this right Try if you can

One day while playing outside I suddenly felt a sharp burning pain in my big toe. Yes, I was wearing sandals. As I looked down to see what was attacking me, I noticed a single fire ant firmly attached to my toe. That little sucker had me in its grip and was attempting to haul my little fat ass back to his queen. I am sure he thought his colony could feed on me for days. And Lord only knows how his queen might have rewarded him for such an accomplishment.

To my southern friends, How come none of you warned me about fire ants?! You guys know I’m from New York and don’t get out much! 😂

My wife and I were at a high school football game. She glanced at her engagement ring And the diamond was missing. Oh, the panic. So I got out of the bleachers and searched the ground between the bleachers and our car, at night, hoping I might happen to find it. After 30 minutes of searching I simply gave up and sat down beside my hysterical wife. Then I happened to notice that her pants were cuffed. I asked her to carefully check her pant cuffs. And as I am sure you are already ahead of me, the diamond had fallen into that little cuff. Imagine the relief we both felt: she was reunited with the diamond I placed on her hand when we married, and I was not going diamond shopping.

Guys… please tell me I’m not the only one who does stuff like this 😭 Yesterday I went in for a dental X-ray, and they asked me to take off my earrings and necklace. No big deal. I took everything off, placed it neatly on a napkin, folded it up like I was being responsible… and dropped it into my bag. Fast forward to the evening, I’m getting ready and suddenly remember my jewelry. I reach into my bag to put everything back on and… nothing. It was gone. I froze. Then I started replaying my entire day in my head like a detective. Step by step. And then it hit me. At some point, I had grabbed gum from my bag while I was outside and…

@otokyo__ Tiny Tat

Can you guess his rap name?

@BamaSaltyMarine Now this made me laugh out loud.

Scientists confirm the ocean is very deep in some places and less deep in others. The deep parts are deeper than the shallow parts, which is what makes them the deep parts. Animals that live at the bottom of the ocean are at the bottom, which means they are further down than animals that live closer to the top.

@CuriosityonX I would like to sit down with you and have a conversation over coffee.

If you could send a message to an Alien civilization, what would you say?

@EmilySm43 Yes. A friend of mine couldn’t swim. I could swim enough for both of us.

Have you?

@TrollerforTrump @KatieLunchLady @ginamilan_ @HartshornFrank @grok Dam straight.

@KatieLunchLady @ginamilan_ @HartshornFrank @grok Who else is getting tired of having to Grok everything you read on X only to find it’s not true ?

Breaking: Rep. Shri Thanedar resigns from Congress to take a position at JP Morgan.

@otokyo__ I would reword it to say “what time” which yields ‘Time of death - 2 minutes = the Time that men stop looking’. But I am just a normal red blooded man so what do I know 🥴

At what age?

@senveben22119 My first thought was a single earmuff.

@Her_Nonymous_D Note that he told her to call his wife, not him, but they would be there. That is a very thoughtful gentleman.

I witnessed something at a gas station that’s stuck with me. A teenage girl was at the pump, counting change over and over. She had three dollars but needed five just to get enough gas to make it home. You could see the panic setting in. She started crying and tried calling someone, no answer. She was stranded, alone, and scared. A man at the next pump noticed and asked, “How much are you short?” She hesitated, then said, “$3.” He pulled out…

@Nikki6405994059 @RickyDoggin I think I saw him apply the brakes on his sled which resembles an anchor for snow. But as a native Mississippian, I admit I know nothing about dog sledding.

@RickyDoggin Y did the one guys dogs stay and the others kept going?

Badass Save!!!

@honeymoon250 Sprinkle some dirt on her and yourself and then suggest that you both need to take a shower together to conserve water.

Be Honest

Ask yourself: Why hasn’t the breaker already thrown (turn off power to the house, electrician can’t help until water mystery is solved) Does this happen only when it is raining (call roofer) Is the water flow continuous (cut off water to the house and then call plumber) Can’t find source of water then call realtor and move

Do I call a plumber or an electrician ?

@Matt_Pinner Since you said wrong answers only, I will go with Michele Obama.

Without cheating... who is this? ​WRONG ANSWERS ONLY.

@WorkElizab Of course. Biscuits, corn bread, stews, jambalaya, red beans and rice, fried anything, place it on the grill for blackened fish/steak/shrimp/ and of course sautéed veggies. Is that enough for ya?

@trumplicans2024 Where did she get that trigger finger?

any words for this 'shooter'?