Ben Blazquez

@virginmedia What is the issue in Slough SL3 area. No broadband for 24 hours, no explanation given. If Mc Donald's ran out of burgers for 24 hours they'd go out of business!

@NoContextBrits So Daddy's doctor said I'll be king within 18 months. Totally bloody awesome!

@NoContextBrits Whinging and putting ourselves down

@shinthantlin274 @SpursOfficial @HSBC_Sport Maybe, if your players can stop getting red cards

@SpursOfficial @HSBC_Sport U take 3 pts with 12 men, we'll take the trophy with 11

And breathe 😅 Who gets your vote for the #TOTLIV Player of the Match? 🌟 📈 @HSBC_Sport

@SloughCouncil Great! As there will be more recycling, can you collect once per week please? P.S. have you seen how much dirtier the streets are since you went to fortnightly collections.

WANTED: Loose plastic! You wanted to be able to put more plastics in your red recycling bin and now you can! Yoghurt pots, meat trays, butter tubs, fruit punnets - we want them all. Give them a wash first and no bags or bin liners in the recycling please. slough.gov.uk/news/article/3…

@HistoryToLearn Peshwari Naan

@HistoryToLearn Electric chair

@NoContextBrits Knob End

Settle the debate once and for all.

@NoContextBrits Kwik Fit

@NoContextBrits All the remote controls

You're a burglar, but you only steal things to slightly inconvenience your victims. What are you stealing?

@NoContextBrits A kidney

You have to lose one item. What is it?

@NoContextBrits Bellend 3

Ruin a film by replacing a word in the title with ‘bellend’.

@NoContextBrits Bellend 2

@NoContextBrits Bellend 1

@interestingaf How many lifeguards do they have?

All these houses are connected by a pool.

@OGutan3 @Baddiel @BenKentish Quite right. My toilet brush would find that very offensive.

That this shit is on here and not taken down and from a verified account is just fucking staggering.

@Baddiel Best leave it up so everyone can know that Milan Dawood is a King Canute

@spanishpod101 Vamos! Venga!

What's the Most #Encouraging #Spanish Phrase you've ever heard? 🎉 P.S. Learn Spanish with the best FREE online resources, just click here spanishpod101.com/?src=twitter_e…

@sloughobserver No they should not resign: I'd love to see what would happen if Johnson took the Tories to another general election, they would get shredded.

Do you think Boris Johnson and Rishi Sunak should resign? sloughobserver.co.uk/news/20065298.…

@MichaelRosenYes He was showing our support for the Ukrainians and their president. Yes he took the opportunity for a cheesy photo opportunity, and he repels me. What were you doing apart from sending this tweet?

Dear Mogg Did you see me?! Striding down the street with the Zominsky chap. I was Alexander on the day he defeated Hannibal. And did you hear me on about lions and roars and stuff? If that doesn't wipe out the memory of Party-bloody-gate, nothing will. Oratorio testiculo Boris