Amy 🦈

don't u hate it when u offer help and the other person says yes

@JByrd925 He’s giving you what you need, not what you want.

I need ratchet Kanye back

DUUNNN DUNNN… DUUUUNNNN DUUN… DUUUNNNNNNNN DUN... DUN DUN DUN DUN... it’s coming for us folks! #SharkWeek2019

Pro tip for all you personal trainers out there: interrupting someone’s run the treadmill is not a great first step in trying to convince them to sign up for your personal training services

Random lady at the airport to her husband who just bought many snacks: "I still feel underprepared for snacks"

When @HawaiianAir cancels and resells your tickets AFTER you’ve already checked in making you miss an entire day of your vacation #NicelyDone 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

@JByrd925 Boy don’t lie. You drinking rosé.

Red wine.

@JByrd925 Remember when you claimed that about the last episode we just watched?

Cersei blowing up the sept is the most amazing scene in television history

Shoutout to @hulu for knowing what the people really want. You show those bugs who’s boss! #JustPunishment

@youngrobstone yo you ever find Andy tho?

Don’t try to talk to me at the airport unless you have a dog that I can play with. Thanks.

I love how Ohio decided to do roadwork on basically the entire highway system all at the same time. Not inconvenient at all.

Attention world! Scientists gave molly to octopuses. That is all.

Anyone know if @xzibit is still pimping rides? Asking for a friend

Cheers to all the people getting lit before this 7 am flight 🍻

My coworkers just had the most midwestern debate of all time - which is the superior small kitchen appliance: crockpot or instapot?

Just saw a commercial reminding people to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. What is this world coming to? 🤦🏼‍♀️

When @JByrd925 claims to be a fan of @SheaSerrano but he’s really not