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@kelvmackenzie I worked with mr Monkhouse. He wouldn’t use that gag now, He died nearly 25years ago and was thoughtful about his audience, it would’ve stayed in the jokebook. Shame they couldn’t just edit around it or picked another gag he had thousands. This feels like outrage bait for clicks.

“I’m not saying my wife’s a bad cook but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.” Unbelievably it was that kind of gag by Bob Monkhouse that led to an episode of BBC’s The Repair Shop being pulled after a TV production employee took offence to an alleged “ sexist” joke. The hardback archives of Monkhouse’s handwritten joke books, dating back to 1960s, were bought in for repair by the comic’s adopted daughter and his old writing partner. In a tribute to the comic, who died in 2003, footage of the restoration was due to be aired this year. But the BBC axed the segment after a member of the production company Ricochet complained about one of the gags. I would like to know the identity of that employee. He or she has robbed many of us of a decent bit of television. Rare enough on the BBC I couldn’t give a toss if they were upset about the gag. Monkhouse will have bought a damned sight more pleasures to the world than this employee ever will.

@greghove This will probably sort itself out but I do suggest you keep all correspondence for future ref.. If needed you can take them to the ombudsman I've done this a few times now it's worth the effort.

Gas company sent me a bill for gas usage. I have a prepayment meter so I don’t get bills. I topped it up today. Phoned them up and asked why a bill? Because when you recently had your meter replaced it was replaced with a debit meter. Nope. Was replaced like for like.

@greghove I found water only fasting for over 18hours per day is the best. then be as keto as you can. Try and have two small meals in your eating window. Don't eat after 6pm. Always start with a salad with olive oil and cider vinegar dressing. My blood pressure is text book now.

Been diagnosed with angina. Any tips? Meds that work best?

@terrychristian @ManUtd When did we get so old, I'd love to go back to the 90s again damn those days/nights were crazy.

A quick message to all the Amorim-sexuals from a true @ManUtd fan born and bred in Old Trafford - exactly 60 years since I 1st attended a match there - albeit a 'token game' Man United reserves vs Netherfield Town ( 1-0 United - Carlos Sartori )

@beyoncegarden Have they really not hacked these bags yet..

@SuellaBraverman @reformparty_uk All your bad eggs in one basket.

Delighted and honoured to join the only team that has the courage to stand up for our country. Pleased to join @reformparty_uk today.

@kelvmackenzie I find this post very hard to believe. You've got a mate????

Just been nicked for a second time for doing more than 20mph in outer London while a mate of mine in North London faces losing his licence soon for running up 12pts for breaking that limit 4 times. There will be record driving disqualification going through the courts. . Khan will be so pleased. Almost impossible to do 20mph for any period of time. Cars weren’t built to go that slowly.

@vitusdoom1 @RealMattLucas You can get football news?

@RealMattLucas Love how all these old videos on tech mention it's great for education. Fuck that! We just want it for porn and football news!

good morning

Hi @RoyalMail — I have a tracked item marked as delivered, but it was delivered to the wrong address(postcode error). I need a misdelivery retrieval raised please. Tracking number: OY476575337GB I have proof of posting.

@CaryKelly11 @PluckedFruit also cuisson differs with cut of steak so a Fillet should be rare or medium rare whereas a Ribeye should be medium rare to medium raw fat is not enjoyable.

@PluckedFruit I’ve worked in steakhouses and people tend to underestimate rareness. Like what they think is medium rare is closer to medium. We’d tend to cook cooler temps a little more than requested

You ordered medium and this is what you get. What’s your response when your server asks: Is everything ok?

@CaryKelly11 @PluckedFruit Surely it's better to have under cooked than over cooked. Or is this an American thing where people don't know what they are ordering? Here UK I've notice more people complaining it's over done when they ordered a medium steak. Obvs we still get the well done twats.

@TheDylanRabbit The 70s are a bit of a fog for me, but didn't he climb up the stage scaffolding at an open air concert and get stuck necessitating the fire brigade to rescue him while the next band on the bill were playing?

On this day in 1977 John Otway and Wild Willy Barrett gave an astonishing DIY performance of their hit Really Free on Top of the Pops. The audience look utterly baffled.

@jennyeclair just got mine.. officially old...

Hahaha - it’s coming - whooop 4 months to go!

@UKLabour OMG do you know nothing about nutrition, what on this poster is a proper breakfast food?

Today, Labour has announced we’re working with Morrisons, Sainsbury’s and Weetabix to deliver free breakfast clubs. By join forces with some of Britain’s most loved food brands we’re backing our schools, supporting families and ensuring every child gets the best start in life.

@caroldecker After watching this I'm surprised they allow you sharp tools.

@London_W4 the plate pattern is Calico which suggests a Spoons, therefore around 9 quid.

Right, it’s Thursday, it’s five o’clock and it’s time to play “guess the price of my meal”. A beef madras curry with rice, naan bread, two onion bhajis, a vegetable samosa, two poppadoms and a pint of beer. How much?

@greghove My sympathies I had only 30 for breakfast, just how I like it.

320 for breakfast. 🤕 off now till Monday 2pm 🥳

@Keir_Starmer probably easier for crims too.

It’s frustrating having to rummage around in a drawer, looking for an old electricity bill just to open a new bank account. Digital ID will make our lives easier.

@Matt_Pinner has anyone said porkour?

How would you describe this ?

@KayBurley Work..?

In a statement released by Buckingham Palace, Andrew said: “In discussion with The King, and my immediate and wider family, we have concluded the continued accusations about me distract from the work of His Majesty and the Royal Family. I have decided, as I always have, to put my duty to my family and country first. I stand by my decision five years ago to stand back from public life.” Prince Andrew denies all allegations against him.