Tom

I’d never seen the Harry Potter films, so during this period of isolation I’ve sat through the whole pissing series and made notes/reviewed them. ⚠️ Spoiler alert if you haven’t seen them. Here we go...

Whitney: “They’re a bit territorial.” Jess: “What’s that mean? I’m not good with big words.” Me:

Matt Hancock walks into a bar with a toad on his head. The barman says "eurgh, that’s disgusting, how did that happen?” The toad replies "I dunno, I woke up this morning and it was growing from my arsehole."

Luca is about to track down every single person who didn’t vote for him and ask for an explanation. #LoveIsland

Big Brother is coming back. Hook it into my fucking veins.

Love Island royalty.

Hearing about 4 hours into a 40C heatwave: the heatwave:

Tasha should’ve put this on one of the notes just to spice things up

Me watching Gemma force that “I love you too” out:

Jacques: “I’ll tell him straight to his face I don’t give a fuck. Nobody is chatting shit about me, I don’t care who it is. If he wants to go, we can fucking go.” *Adam comes over* Jacques: “Crack on, pal.”

Jacques is a proper shitbag. Only pipes up at women and then rather than directing his anger towards the 6’5” unit who’s been chatting shit about him, he lashes out at poor little Billy who’s done fuck all wrong. 😂 #loveisland

Jacques plotting his next infidelity immediately after Paige forgave him:

We’ve just been forced to sit through an hour of Tasha and Andrew acting like complete cocks, then the second Davide and Ekin-Su sit down and start a conversation - “I’VE GOT A TEXT.” Give the people what they want ffs. #loveisland

@_beckid I just want to watch Ekin-Su and Davide for an hour every night.

This could’ve been one of the best series of #loveisland if they’d just stop putting Andrew and Tasha on screen every 3 seconds. Nobody gives a fuck you boring cunts.

“Wow Michael Owen is your dad? Me? Oh I’m just a normal guy. I work in social media. Just totes normal. Oh by the way my dad is Ronan Keating and I live with Ronan Keating and Ronan Keating is my best mate isn’t it wild that Ronan Keating is my dad hahaha wanna kiss? No? Okay.”

The only one I’m gutted to see leave. They need to get her back in the villa immediately so she can dish the dirt. She showed Paige more respect in 4 fucking seconds than Jacques has in 4 weeks.

They aren’t going to get Pretty Little Thing deals, so this is the last we’ll see of them. Final thoughts on the Casa Amor dropouts…