Ray McGrede

2 years later I’m back on Twitter for a bit just to see how this all plays out… btw-thanks for the internet!

My math skills have been reduced to working with fractions to find out how many coffee scoops to make the perfect less than full pot of coffee, and how many 1/100 of an hour I have to work to make 40 hours.

@jcook91 Ahhhh I wondered what you two were on about

Trying to keep one eye on the big giant red wasp in your back window, and the other ahead, makes for a long ride to work

@GroganNick is getting married! Congratulations, I wish you all the best in your new adventure! #goinggrogan

Forty freaking seven?!? Surely not. I swear I don't feel that old. I'm not even sure what to do to be that old.... I was just 19....

If you have to shove a lime into your beer to make it palatable, It just might not be a good beer. Also, El Sombrero icee machine is down :(

Seriously, if you drive like that, AND your car has dents, scratches and busted tail lights... It just may not be 'THEM'

Well, besides that one announcing my profoundness... And this one, but from now on they will be gold. Standby for greatness

Just read an entire thread of 'last tweets.' I have decided that from now on my tweets will@be profound, just in case.

Help a blind person see with the #BeMyEyes app - the app that connects blind people with sighted helpers! bemyeyes.org

Black eyed peas, collard greens, cabbage, cast iron cornbread and potatoes......Yeah...today is a good day. #menu #newyearsday #homecooking

I don't care HOW many times you see 'Stand by Me', you still yell at Vern to get up and run faster away from that train. He always makes it.

If everyone bled in real life, the way they do in 'Kill Bill Vol. 1' people would carry swords around just in case something goes down.

HA- Search for something for two weeks. Then instantly on the way to Walmart you realize "it's in the laptop bag!" Now.. Where is that bag?

Never knew how much I missed reliable cell coverage until I spent 7 days without service. Free WiFi while on vacation was lifesaver!

@ReVa_la_DiVa have you ever lost a laptop? Message me either way please. You are the only Reva Davis from East Texas I have found.

When my son walks in and starts a conversation at 11:00pm with, "Dad, where is your gun?!" It's gonna be an exciting night.

I absolutely loved #goodeats, but damn @altonbrown, these pic tweets are outta control img.ly/zna5 :) I do still buy your books.

Overheard at the #firecracker5k #shreveport: "He had a water burst, cause he rode a Popsicle half way." I might need my hearing checked