Sean Fergusson

What kind of emergency requires you to blow a guy on an airplane?

Actual conversation that occurred in nearly every American home at some point during the 80s: “Dad, what’s dysentery?” “It means you got the shits. Real bad.”

Mike Cubbage hit .282 in 1978 which is still the American League record for a 48-year-old lesbian.

MAKE A GODDAMN SAVE

If you were a female marine biologist in the 70s, you worked topless and smoked Tiparillos. Everybody knows that.

@TonyKhan @AEW @MercedesVarnado @YukaSakazaki @TBSNetwork @SportsonMax Why the fuck would anyone want to see this???

This Wednesday, 1/29 Huntsville, AL 8pm ET/7pm CT, TBS + Max Wednesday Night #AEWDynamite TBS Title Match @MercedesVarnado vs @YukaSakazaki After winning tonight’s #AEWCollision 4 Way Eliminator, Yuka Sakazaki will fight TBS Champion Mercedes Moné for the title this Wednesday!

“We moved it down the fallopian tube but we’ve gotta do a better job of converting on opportunities when we reach the egg and that starts with me.”

“Here’s how I would’ve approached a playoff game if I hadn’t gone 8-8 every year …”

Please refrain from smoking while you are synchronized shitting. Thank you. - The Management

You know you’ve finally bottomed out when you pour a whiskey in your fucking Neil Sedaka cup and reflect upon why the laughter in the rain of your life has fallen silent.

So now we all know what Charlton Heston felt like when he saw the Statue of Liberty at the finish of Planet of the Apes.

That was one of the worst endings to a wrestling pay-per-view I have ever seen. #AEWWrestleDream

@DailyLVRaiders @RaidersBeat Clown Show of an Organization

@RaidersBeat The Raiders have no coach, no quarterback, barely any defense and most importantly, no leadership… Davante is in his right to GTFO of here.

#Raiders were up 10-3 with the ball on the Denver 5 yard line. They’ve been outscored 24-0 since.

You can’t handle Cheers after hours.

If you’re over 30, you’ll also hear this tweet …

Nothing says “responsible motorist” quite like clearing the windshield of your Buick Regal with a PBR ice scraper …

Tom Selleck once got an at-bat in a Tigers-Reds spring training game. Yes, I’m dead fucking serious.

What kind of animal goes to the arcade with his goddamn groceries?

@TonyKhan @DaxFTR Go to bed

This is AEW's 5 year anniversary weekend! Celebrate TONIGHT with a huge AEW + NBA block on TNT! Friday Night #AEWRampage 6pm ET/3pm PT + Countdown to #AEWDoN 7pm ET Right before NBA on TNT tonight! After tonight, don't miss #AEWCollision tomorrow + an epic #AEWDoN ppv Sunday!