alex 🥦

i fixed it for u hun

@manepane_ 10 min maks tipa dok obrijam noge zamisli pola sata girl ain't nobody got time for that

Zauvijek cu da se divim zenama koje koriste masku za kosu, jer ja niti imam zivaca da hodam po kuci sa takvom kosom, niti znam sta bih radila pod tusem tih 20-30 minuta

I was flirting with the most gorgeous woman at the bar last night. At one point I told her "Believe it or not, I have the most famous last name in all of Ireland." She smiled and replied, "Oh really?" And I'm like "how did you know?!"

onların zamanı geldi

being online makes you more american in the worst ways possible and you have to do everything in your power to keep it from happening to you

When i get more active on twitter thats how you know im getting insane again

@kremelloo first in my bloodline to ever read that statement

I'm so nervous!! 🌔 #ArtemisII #NASA #Moon

Absolutely hate to admit this, but I haven’t felt fly like a G6 in a long time

@BossIgnostic it just surprises me that people dont hold a grudge. maybe im kinda fucked in the head (likely)

boze kunem vam se, JA kroz nekih 10 godina obozavam kad me ljudi pitaju kad ti slavis bozic/uskrs? lmfao slavim dva bozica, dva uskrsa and guess what jebeni sam agnostik jesus christ my boy i might be celebrating u more than some of your most faithful children

Have you ever seen a tweet that doesn't even concern you, but you immediately go to that person's profile and block them because you don’t want to see any more of their thoughts on your timeline ever again?

My friend was at a pub quiz and phoned me. He asked, “What's the second biggest state in the USA?" I said "Texas." He rang off and next minute I got a text from him saying, “What's the second biggest state in the USA?”

completely unrelated but i am so relieved that other people's grocery lists look like this cause i thought that only my bf's and mine are like in 3 diff languages 😭

seeing a lot of "higher gas prices won't affect me because I don't drive very much" and unfortunately it is my sad duty to inform you that your food does not teleport to the grocery store

A coworker died yesterday morning😭. ​HR knew by 9 :00 AM, but they kept us working all day. They finally told us around 4 :30 PM, then had the nerve to say, "You can head home early if you need to"—knowing we all finish at 5: 00 PM anyway. ​This morning, it’s back to "business as usual." Some of my friends are literally sobbing at their desks, but they’re expected to work and be productive. No time to grieve. ​It’s a cold reality. Within a week, the company will have his job posted online. Within a month, someone else will be sitting in his chair. ​But his family ,his children will still talk about him every day,they will ask where is daddy , His wife will mourn him for ages ,he was the love of her life . ​At work, we are just a "resource" that can be replaced in a week. At home, we are the world. Stop giving your best energy to a desk that will forget you, and giving the "leftovers" to the people who never will.