rem
17 posts
hello everyone
for the time being (probably a long time), i will be taking a break from competing. teevee is/was my passion project and opened my eyes to a completely new scene that i have so much care and respect for. since creating teevee, i have put a large amount of time and effort towards a team that originally started out as a content creator team, but as we played more, goals on the team shifted. this stage especially, i felt incredibly burnt out — from exams/finishing my degree, pressure to stream consistently, and pressure to perform/igl well — and like my motivation was misplaced. my decision to stop playing partly comes from the fact that i miss streaming/regret spending very little time streaming, and partly the fact that my reluctance to heavily scrim and put my 100% into the team is holding some of my team mates back who want to go further in the gc scene.
i’ve had a lot to say about this and i’ve felt this way for a long time, but it’s hard to let go of something you’ve spent a lot of effort on. for a little bit, i even entertained the idea of going pro. i think a lot of people have misconceptions about me because of the kind of content i post, but im sure everyone who competes knows exactly how it feels to want to give it your all, prove something, and win. (side note: it’s really hard to make it far in this scene especially in NA, yet so many of the players belittle the dreams of others they feel have “no chance of making it”. it’s really disgusting to hear people talk about their peers like that when they share the exact same passion and end goal, and i’ve heard many people talk about me like this when they have no idea what i am like personally or in the server).
i tried to find a balance between streaming and playing with teevee, but being the igl/manager/creator of a team was incredibly draining. i suggested swapping off the igl role and just be a player (less responsibility, can just come and play) but no one on the team was fond of that idea (lmfao these mfs did not want that irene igl). along with being the igl came all the pressure/stress from losses. they hit you harder because you’re supposed to guide your team to the win (and yes, it’s sad to lose even if the team was “for content”). and then it became a cycle of doing work -> playing matches -> losing (or winning tho sometimes we ate) -> being sad from the loss so i can’t stream -> being sad that i can’t stream from doing work -> playing matches, repeat.
so with all that being said, i sat down and really thought about how i spent so long spreading myself thin over many different passions (school, stream, competing), and now i would like to focus on streaming and content creation as much as i can. although, i don’t think ive ever loved the feeling of something as much as i did/do competing.
thank you to everyone who supported me and my team mates, to everyone who spent time teaching me how to play the game, and to everyone who helped me build teevee from the beginning until now.
tldr: taking a break from competing to stream max. support my team mates as many of them will continue to compete. going live tomorrow at 8pm to answer questions ttv mizubabe. thanks for the support this last year #teeveewin 🫶🏻 just so no one is confused tho, teevee is done.
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Proud to show what my team and I accomplished this weekend with @EmberEsportsInc — dominant run all the way through.
🏆 1st place at the @OutcastOGGaming & @juicevolesports OG Spring Showdown
💰 $150 prize pool ($100 to 1st)
More to come.
#Valorant #ValorantEsports #VCT #FPS
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@ooooyeahhhhlol I’m not defending sick at all, dude is a weirdo but bro u genuinely took time out of ur day to pretend to be a girl and watch sick jerk his meat as you said “I’d fuck the shit out of you”
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There's someone I had an intimate discord call with that is planning to upload it here. Its circulating around discord already, basically revenge porn. It was someone acting as a 20 year old woman, maybe voice changer? Illegal to post and trying to extort me, getting ahead of it.
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